Confessions

I have a confession to make…

I am dense, slow and stubborn.

Stop nodding in agreement… just hear me out, hmmm?


I am 34 years old. I look young, I don’t have many wrinkles, however, I am overweight, I am only
5’4 and I weigh more than I should….


What? You want me to tell you how much??? That’s not really a nice question, you know??


Ok,ok,ok,… I weigh 220 pounds, which is 70 lbs over what I should weigh, and it seems that 50 of those pounds have settled nicely around my waist, or at least where my waist used to be.


Now, I am not a perpetual dieter, I don’t yo-yo diet. I have been consistently 200+ since …well, forever. There was this one time when Luis, my best friend, convinced me to try Body for Life and I lost 21 lbs in one month, I was 190 and then we stopped. The process was murder, up at the crack of dawn, work, work, work all the time, pain here, stretch that, lift this, planning meals, special grocery trips, etc, etc, etc. Arrrrghhh!!!! (But you know? I felt great…)


A few tres leches and cheesecakes later, I had forgotten all about the body for life and gone on to my regular life style.


I have always had a grudge with processed foods. No cans, frozen or prepared foods. And I always knew that sugar was not my best friend, but like a good addict, all it would take was more sugar to make me forget…


Hit me again! Another cookie…. Yeahhhhhhh, Oblivion!!!


Life is persistent sometimes, and when I started working here in Ohio, I met a man who was very focused on himself. Egocentric, self centered, creido, I berated him (in my mind), he seemed so full of life and so full of enthusiasm that even as I was hating him for being so concerned about himself and caring so much for himself, I was totally attracted to his self preservation and his integrity with himself and his health and well being.


After a little bit of time and tired of hating him at a distance, I actually started talking to him and I learnt that his incredible integrity about his body and self was translated into his life with BOUNDLESS amounts of energy. I thought he was high, he was, high in life. He is by the far one of the funniest men I have ever met, not like weird funny either, funny like his brain cells are running circles around mine and mine could just collapse with laughter. I saw him once sharing some information about the glycemic index with another coworker and I asked him what it was, he explained and the fat girl in me said something stupid like “oh yea, I know all bout this” (Yes, Angel, I know all about this, I purposefully kill myself on a daily basis… hehehehe, pathetic)

Mr. Batista and I parted company, but I knew what it looked like to be healthy, what it sounded like… could I turn around and ignore it again???


Yes, apparently I could.


I did.


I went back to baking and cooking and not looking at labels and creating sugar edifices. Now, to give myself credit, I did bake from scratch and I didn’t buy the frosting, everything was home made, it counts for something right??? Right???


Well, as you know, life will not be contained.


My cousin turned writer.


I’ve told you all about him. If anything happens at the house, I consult him first. His insight and information always makes sense to me. He has always given me ways to deal with our ailments and information on how to prevent those things. It is like having a doctor at your beck and call, well not exactly like that, but he does email back pretty quick…


His book, “Stop Diabetes in 30 days” tells you all about diabetes containment and prevention. Now, why would I care about diabetes??? Diabetes runs rampant in my family. Too many relatives affected. Too many lives lost to it.


Well, he had sent me his book and I could not download it. I thought, oh well, I couldn’t open it…darn…


Then his sister sent me the actual book…


Ok, someone is getting pretty annoying up there with their message, if they think that I am going to listen to just about anyone talk about this… I am not swayed just like that… oh no!!!!! (This is me, ranting)


Then, the worst happened. I got sick. I just had a sinus infection. But it was a Titan of a Sinus infection. It kicked my butt and I was laid out, in pain and in tears for about four days. I was alone in the house with the little ones and I got scared.


I got scared thinking about what would happen if I got really sick right now?


I thought… to myself…


What if this headache is more than a headache, what if it is a stroke?

Oh C’mon, you are 34 no one has a stroke at 34.

Fat people do. (I am sorry, that part of me is not politically correct yet, we are working on it though)

I am not that fat.

Yea, ok, tell yourself that.

No seriously, I personally know people who are twice as heavy.

You don’t know their symptoms; you don’t know what their life is like.

Yeah, but seriously, dead at 34??? I am healthy….

You have a sinus infection that is killing you. You are overweight, you have asthma, you have carpal tunnel to the point that you can’t feel your fingers in the morning and you are so out of shape, your heart would give out at the sight of a treadmill. Yes, you are the picture of health.

Well, yea…


I could see that I was losing this battle.


So, I sat there on Sunday Morning, tired of being sick, tired of not being healthy, of being out of energy and I looked towards the Heavens and voiced my challenge…


“If this getting healthy thing is something really important to me, send me a sign. But don’t just send me any sign send me a sign that you know I cannot refute.”

Have you ever done that??? Has it ever worked??? Yea, sometimes I wish it would not work quite as well, but there you have it….


I made my plea to the heavens at 4 am, afterwards I could not sleep, I was miserable and I could not stay in bed another minute. I went to the couch, and turned the TV on. Flipped around the different channels available, and found a channel doing something about Wayne Dyer, I think it was a presentation about his book, “Excuses Be Gone”


Dr. Dyer is a world renowned psychologist, author, and someone I respect a lot. I read his books and listen to his messages intently and have learnt a great deal from him. His book “Your Sacred Self” changed my life, meeting him in person is still one of the highlights of my life.


So there stood this man, whom I love, and he said to me, (yes, he was talking to me) that he had to follow his own advice, and lose those few pounds that he had been ignoring (uh, huh…) and so he went to say that he had looked for a program that strived for health, not just for weight loss, when he found Jorge Cruise’s “The Belly Fat Cure”. (You’ve gotta be kidding me! What a coincidence!!!! I know, no coincidences, everything happens for a reason, you wanted a message, here you go!!!!)


So he goes on to explain everything I have known about the evil sugar, and how it has gotten out of hand and so on and so forth, and I sat there, angry at the TV and saying that I would do my own research on this, thank you very much.


I jumped on my trusty computer and hit Wikipedia… no just kidding, that’s wannabe research.

I looked up this Jorge Cruise and his belly fat cure and his approach. I looked at his experience, his track, his associates, his books. I now know his shoe size and even who was his best friend in high school. It helps to have worked with investigators.


Well, I could find no fault with his theory, with his approach, with his ideas. He even looks healthy and not super skinny and over exercised.


So fine, I looked up his website and it was full of videos… groan!!!!! I am a reader, I don’t like videos. But I really did not need to hear the information again, I know why it works, I have known it for a VERY long time. It resonated with everything I know and at that moment, I knew it, not only with my brain, but with my heart. It was time to do it.


My best friend, Luis, was overweight once upon a time and lost massive weight using this way of eating. When Redux came out and the nice doctors gave us our prescriptions, they also said to follow up with diet, this same kind of diet. When Atkins came out and my sister, subtly, sent me the book, it was the same concept (except the bacon part of it). And so it has been with Body for life and the Glycemic Index that Angel introduced me to. All of them had the same basic concept. Lean proteins, no white stuff, drink your water, plenty of veggies…. Yadda, yadda, yadda.


Even many years ago, while I was studying medical transcription, I learnt about hormones and how they affect your body and the way your body works and processes function. And I learnt that perfect health means finding the perfect balance for your body and maintaining it. Finding the perfect balance, finding the perfect balance in nutrition!!! That almost sounds like making peace with your body, doesn’t it?


So here goes nothing, I have placed the book on order, it should arrive promptly on December 28 and I will then be able to begin the New Year with a new goal and despite the fact that I hate New Years resolutions and all of the pressure and nonsense that goes with it, I am going to do this now because I want to be healthy, I want to be healthy, I want to live a good life and watch the kids grow and I want grandkids and I want to be beautiful at 70, like my mom.


So why am I telling you this? Well, in the past, I have always attempted this but never have I been open about this. It was like the big elephant in the living room that no one talked about. Well the elephant needs help, I mean, I need help.


I need help because, obviously, I have tried this alone and failed. I need your help because I need someone to be accountable to. I need your help because being overweight and overeating are not the only problem, something causes that behavior and I have not been clear enough to see what it is, because you may have gone through this and you can send your support or because you are ready to take the plunge and be healthy and want to join me.


Regardless, I need your help.


So here I come, with open arms…. (Ahem, sorry...)


So here I come, naked (figuratively) and vulnerable and putting it all out there (figuratively, again) in hopes that I can achieve this, in hopes that I can do this… maybe…


Don’t misunderstand, being fat has never held me back, I have gotten the jobs I wanted, gotten paid what I wanted and done what I wanted, I even got all the guys I wanted, (don’t ever believe it when people who are fat are not good in bed, not true, trust me I know…)


But… I wonder, how much better it could be? I wonder how much better I could be??? Well, I am curious and motivated, so here I go, to make peace with my body. Wish me luck…

Thanksgiving Menu

Thanksgiving menu

In our home, Thanksgiving is a bit different. My husband is an active and most prominent participant in the kitchen; the men in his family are the cooks. Although, I love to cook, I am glad to step back and let him take over. He will get the children onto the counter and have them smell spices and taste his concoctions and measure out ingredients. The last holidays when we were all together, Matt and Tony threw us out of the kitchen and took over creating a most magnificent meal!!! I gladly gave up my wooden spoon and sat back and relaxed... I love family traditions... but back to our menu!!

• 1 turkey (I remember the poor turkey that arrived from Pacanga. For the longest time he thought he had died and gone to turkey heaven. They would feed him all kinds of yummy foods all day long and let him walk around like if he was the king of the patio. Then one day, things got better, or so he thought, they poured pisco down its gullet and let it get drunker and drunker. We used to love watching it stumble around and trip and fall, and then... well, the pisco did make it delicious!!!)

• Stuffing: Bread stuffing American style?? Ground beef stuffing Peruvian style??? And why stuffing anyways??? Who ever looked at the bird’s cavity and thought, “Well that’s going to have to be filled!!!” Here at my house, we go for a good balance and combination, cornbread and sausage creole stuffing… yes, cayenne pepper inside that turkey, good thing he had the rum!!

• Green Beans: I remember sitting at Tere’s house and having to peel the peas and sift through the rice and snap the ends of the green beans. I remember I used to volunteer for these jobs in an effort to hear all the gossip. My mom and Tere used to talk while cooking, well Tere would cook and my mom would keep her company, and I would hear all of their conversations and their advise to one another.

• Macaroni Salad or Ensalada de coditos: Taste is so subjective, but there are certain flavors and combinations that are embedded in your memory and Emeril Lagasse could cook for you and he would not hit it on the spot. And so it is with la Flaca’s ensalada de coditos. My goodness, I have tried!!! Every combination and every other ingredient that I could throw in there has been added but none compare. I don’t know that she left anyone the recipe and it wouldn’t really matter, she added her own essence, her own flavor for life and it resulted in the most amazing macaroni salad I have ever tasted.
• Rice: Well, this is a Hispanic table; you were not thinking it would be without rice, were you???? Affairs at my cousin’s Olga’s house were always beautiful. From the dishes and the arrangements and the food and the presentation of the food, Olga has a special touch that brings out the beauty in everything, yes my friends, even rice. I have eaten at her table more than once, (lucky me) and the rice she makes for special occasions and well, there is no point in comparison. Something about the sausage and the coloring and the seasonings, well, her rice was fancy and fabulous, much like her…. Didn’t know you could do all that with rice did you??

• Tamales: Ok, so tamales are more for Christmas, but I could not help mentioning them. My tia Alcira would make them and she would give them out, not many mind you, like one or two per house, but man oh man!! My sister, my mom and I would stand around the stove and watch the water boil and take it out and measured out the pieces so we divided it all equally. It was delicious, it was more than delicious it was perfect. Back in Peru, the lady would come around and sell her tamales and my tia had captured that taste in her little foil packets…. Ohh, perfection.

Rolls and Butter: Making bread is a religious experience. I am not being disrespectful, I just think that the moment when you are kneading the bread and bringing its goodness out, is a moment of communion. So much of you is put into this process that you are totally invested in this creation. The butter is something different altogether. I love pure butter. If you can’t believe it’s not butter, it’s probably not butter and I don’t want it. We make our own butter for special occasions and that butter reminds me of my grandma's house. The taste of the Laive butter that she used to keep in her cabinets and how soft it was, my mamita Angelica would butter my bread and set it next to my plate and I can still taste the buttery goodness of her table.

• Finally, a good bottle of rum or pisco. Not for the turkey, for us…

Although pisco was not always around, sometimes it was wine, if we were really hurting that week, well beer would do. But there was always something to celebrate with. My tio Juan would bring the bottles of wine out of his room, and he would give the really dry stuff for the adults and he always had a bottle of something sweet for us. (Don’t be horrified, in other countries there is no alcohol prohibition and no problem with underage drinking…. Huh, wonder if they are related??? Never mind, that’s another post) The wine was delicious, it was sweet and tangy and I felt so grown up, Jessica, Juliana and I would pretend that we were in a fancy party.

My dad would drink anything and felt all of the food he was cooking should be splashed liberally with whatever he was drinking at the time, some things don’t mix, never put red wine in mashed potatoes. But sometimes it would be a hit, that pisco on that Peking duck was the bomb!!! My dad would serenade the world with Nino Bravo and whisky after any holiday bringing the holiday to an end.

My mom and I would slip pisco into our tea when the nights got cold in Lima before our daily walk and Yaly and I would take rum and cokes through the house while we were cleaning, and yes, the music was blasting too and we would sing to the top of our lungs as we got the house clean and ready for the holidays!!! In our own little holidays when Papi would come over, he would bring a bottle of rum and a box of wino… tastes were less discriminating after the first bottle of rum.

And so as you set your table for today, as you prepare to give thanks for all the good things that you have been blessed with, give thanks also for the people that blessed your life and that are gone from us or far from us. Their spirit remains, in our hearts, in our memories, even in our menus.

Remember the people that have helped create your life story and share that story with those who gather around you today. Tell the world that a little bit of everyone’s love shines brightly inside of you and reminds you of the promise that distance and time don’t matter, as long as we have love.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!!!

3/11

3 days done and off he goes again…
For 11 days I will smile instead of cry, wishing he was nearby
For 11 days I will push, continue our mission he is home
For 11 days I will pray, desperately, for clear skies, safe roads, bright horizons and a safe return home
For 11 days I will hope that love strengthens my heart so that I may sound strong for him when he calls.
For 11 days I will think of the prosperity this grants us and devise a million ways to create more from home so he doesn’t have to leave anymore.
For 11 days we will cheer for health and for the eagerness to be together again…
For 11 days I will hold my breath as to not hurt, as to not feel the pain…
For 11 days I will look with scorn at those that complain about their spouses, even though they are always at home…
For 11 days I will look into the eyes of another trucker’s wife and say I do understand the loneliness that swallows us, the loyalty to our men…
For these 11 days will be over and he will be home again, and when he is, when he does come home, all will be alright, I will be complete, again.

I believe

I believe with all of my heart in the kindness in our hearts that feels so alive during Christmas.
I believe in the spirit of the times that fills our days with joy and bring us closer to love during Christmas. I believe in reindeer flights as they cross the star filled sky during the most glorious night of all, I believe in peace and goodwill to us all during Christmas.

I believe in loving souls spreading their jolly cheer during Christmas.
I believe in children's smiles and the glimmer in their eyes that look out in compassion into the hearts of their fellow men during Christmas.
I believe in Christmas warmth that charms us through the season uniting us in song during Christmas.
I believe in magic that creates a happy world, united hand in hand, in the cheeriest time of all, when joy fills our hearts and lifts us in love during Christmas.

Letter to my beloved...

Don’t close the door. Wait!

I haven’t come to judge you; I have nothing to say, I was wondering if maybe you would let me hold your hand. Let me be here with you, near you... I cannot go into the darkness with you but I still want to be close.

Wait, what are you doing? Why are you hurting yourself? Don’t you see? Don’t you see what you are doing to your soul??? This stuff takes you to a false light, you are still floating in the dark, and you are still lost in the clouds. This won’t help this wont help….

I am sorry, forgive me please, I am sorry.

I said I wouldn’t say anything, but I can’t help it, I can’t stand to see you hurt yourself, I can’t stand to see you waste yourself away. If you could only see yourself the way I can see you, if you only found in you what I find in you. You are like a star papi, you are like a shining beacon in the night. You are so perfect, so beautiful, why can’t you see it?

Hell and damnation that I can’t talk to you, Hell and damnation that I am in this cursed place and that I cannot reach you. Reach inside you mi hijo, reach to me, I am still here, alive in you… I never left you, I wouldn’t leave you.

I know you are angry, I know you are upset, but doing this to yourself doesn’t make it better papi. Hurting yourself doesn’t make them sorry; it doesn’t let them see what they have done to you. Hurting yourself only hurts you and I never want you to hurt, never. The people that have hurt you in life are only human, they make mistakes all the time, like I did, and I made so many mistakes, so many.

Child of mine, child of my soul, I curse the moment that took my life and took me from you.
While you were little I could protect you, I would make sure that nothing touched you, nothing soiled you. Now I see the folly of my actions, now I see the harm I have caused you. I left you and you were not ready, you were not ready for life as it is.

People can be selfish papi, they can be greedy, but it has nothing to do with you it has to do with them, with how they see themselves. They will try to tell you all kinds of nonsense about being fair and knowing what is right and wrong, but those concepts don’t exist, they are ideas and ideas are not enough to base decisions on. People who impose their will on others and who fail to use their heart in their decisions are those that have turned away from themselves and follow an outer voice in their path. They do what they are supposed to do because that is what they are supposed to do, not because they act with integrity and compassion.

My son, walk away; walk away from this life that holds you back, walk away from this moment that is torture to you. The moment has passed and the actions that define this suffering for you are gone. Wake up son, this is a sin. No, its not religion, look for yourself. To sin is to err, to miss your mark and you are missing yours, you are being less than you can be and while you are not offending God, you are selling yourself short for no reason.

Put away the bottles, the papers and the smokes. Put away these moments of darkness and reach somewhere and to someone. You are not in this alone, I may have left this earth but I did not leave you alone.

Beloved, I watch and I listen and I see your pain. The same pain that sears your soul is in the others who seek to harm you. How can you judge them then, if you cause yourself the same pain??? Flesh of my flesh, put down the pain that you have wrapped yourself in and walk towards the person you know you are inside.

For all of the answers are inside, all of the love and the light that you seek come from inside. And inside, where all is as it should be, I live in love and in peace and in happiness of knowing that you are perfect as I always knew you were and that in you, my hope was never betrayed.
Reach inside child; reach inside, all the answers lie within. And within is also where I am at. Never left you, never will, my beloved.

Different people

Walk into a retail store, sales associate walks towards me and says, very loudly and slowly;
•DO YOU NEED HELP??? (She made a lot of hand movements)
•I looked at her puzzled and I thought, “Awwww, they hire the challenged.” I told her loudly and slowly “I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE REGARDING AN ORDER I PLACED” (all communication lessons teach you to emulate the speaker, so I was, I also wanted to make sure she got me to the right person)
•OH! , she said startled; “You speak English”
•Oh I said inside me, you really are challenged.
PLOP!!!


Talking to a mom from my children’s school,
•“I am so happy that you made it over here and not have to be underprivileged anymore, I mean, that’s horrible and you don’t even talk Mexican anymore, you learned American”
(visibly counting from ten to 1, about a thousand times, in Mexican and American)
PLOP! PLOP!!


Talking to someone on the phone regarding education.
•“Yes I was granted a full scholarship, it was great, I am so very grateful” I said
•He said “Ah! Yes, you people always get the good ones!!!”
PLOP!

Talking to someone about my children
•“Wow! Your son has green eyes and he can definitely pass for American, you are so lucky!!!”
(Can someone please explain to this person that there are whiter people than her in Peru and that my father had green eyes too…. geeeez?)
PLOP! PLOP! PLOP!!

“So how did you get here? “asked someone
“I drove here; I live about three blocks from here.”
“No!!!! I mean when you came to America…”
“I was born in America, South America…”
“Hehehe!! You are so cute; no I meant like here in America, the country, USA, you know…”
(No I don’t, please tell me, this is just more writing material for me…)
PLOP!!!


I called a store to verify that my order had arrived (another, different store) I spoke to the lady and she said that everything was there, and thank you so much for placing this order and we are so glad that we could do this for you, you are our best customer EVER, etc, etc, etc (you know the deal) I am leaving the box in the store but to the side in case I am with a customer when you come in, you don’t have to wait for me . Sounds great, thank you
I walk into the store and proceed to reach towards my large box that was waiting there with my name on it, She RAN towards me and asked if she could help me, I told her my name and I told her that I was getting my box. She said she was sorry, she could not tell that I was a foreigner on the phone and she wanted to make sure I wasn’t stealing.
PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PLOP!

Ok, I don’t get it.

I came, I learned the language, I assimilated, and I did everything that was asked of me, I moved away from large metropolis and learned more and became more immersed in the culture. Aside from my looks there is absolutely NOTHING that should create this wedge, this reaction, AT ALL.

But more often than not, the one that plays the race card is you!

You bring up the fact that I am different, that I came from somewhere else, that I eat different, that I dance different, Holly Moly, you have even mentioned that we walk different.

If you are constantly bringing it up, how do you expect me to put it aside???

You know if you are constantly going to remind me of what I already know then please don’t blame me when I take advantage of the constant mention of my differences.

So here are some facts, just FYI….

Hispanics are the largest ethnic minority; there are 45.4 million of us, comprising 15% of the current population in the United States. How does this number grow so considerably you may ask? Aside from the fact that Hispanics reproduce like rabbits, like you have mentioned so many times?

Well, let me explain it… SLOWLY….

In a mixed family, one of the parents usually fills out the demographic information about the children. Someone who is a minority is more aware of what a census does and how it affects you, therefore, Hispanic parents in a multiracial family will usually opt for choosing Hispanic. I heard the Italians didn’t do it that way, we are still growing strong.

Although we are expected to assimilate, this generation of immigrants has not had to compromise and be as isolated from its original home. Thanks to the technological advances that have been developed we can read the newspaper from home on the internet, we can chat using the webcam with family and we can download our music from every venue available. Our foods infuse the market and find their way into your favorites and thrive in places that don’t even have a large Hispanic population. Importing of our favorite foods is now commonly available at mainstream grocery stores and we have our own package in the cable company. This current generation of Hispanics has also created a bridge to older Hispanics who had isolated themselves from their original culture in order to assimilate, no longer necessary.

Everyone complaints that we should speak English but I swear that WE did not translate the forms in the government; we didn’t hire the bilingual people. We didn’t twist anyone’s arm to make the little announcement in Spanish in all public places. We didn’t create the laws that you say lead us to be lazy and a leech in society. As a matter of fact, you did. You wanted us to be able to pay taxes so you translated the forms, you wanted to be able to cater to Hispanic customers and attract the Hispanic dollar, so you hired the bilinguals, you wanted us to go to your amusement parks and other tourist attractions to spend our money so you made the announcements in Spanish too. There are only 26 Hispanics in the House of Representatives and 3 in the Senate, you passed the laws for things in Spanish, you agreed to this. It is good business, it was a strategic decision, your lawmakers saw that, we can see that, why can’t you see that??? Therefore, it was your own actions that perpetuated this situation or those of your elected officials; I think there is no room for complaints.

Most of us came here with the hope and dream of a better tomorrow, to work and to build with our own hands the type of life that you said was achievable here. We came here despite the borders and sacrifice of leaving everything we knew behind and we built our own version of “the dream” with the same passion and drive that allowed us to walk away from our home.

But a little bit of home will always live in us. There will always be song in our existence, whether it is a ranchera or salsa or reggaeton or a CD of boleros, the music will always be loud and where there are two or more of us listening to that music, there will always be dancing. Our food will always permeate the neighborhoods, reminding us and pulling us from every corner and set us running towards home. Soccer will always inspire hysterical behavior in most of us and will have even the most level headed person screaming to cheer on his team.

And of course, not all of you see us as the reason for the fall of modern society, not all of you act as though we are responsible for the growing cancer in communities, not all of you think that we have taken your jobs, your homes, your opportunities and your dreams. Not all of you feel as though we have usurped your right to prosper, not all of you blame us for global warming, well, you get my drift. Not all of you; thank the Goddess. We know who you are too, yes, we can tell. We can tell when you are really open-minded and tolerant and when you are ACTING like you are open-minded and tolerant.

Also, just because we don’t speak the language and we had to come here, doesn’t mean we are ignorant, doesn’t mean we are uneducated and doesn’t mean we don’t understand everything else that you are not saying.

Yes, there are trouble makers, there are people who break the law and who get in trouble and who will make the wrong choice. But then again, there are those in all societies despite their background. We know you catch them, we know you look for them, and we know you get to them sometimes even before they have done something. Its ok, we know. We have come to expect it.

Because if you think that the profiling defines us, you are mistaken. We want to assimilate, in the sense that we want to be able to function in this environ, to prosper and to create a better life for ourselves and our children but there are things that we refuse to relinquish. There are things that are ingrained, coded into our DNA and we cannot deny.

We are a different people. We work hard but we also play hard and our traditions and our culture are as much part of us as the color of our skin and our blood type. So if you have to profile us, if you have to generalize us and categorize us and discriminate us and stereotype us, that’s ok. Most of us have figured out by now that your segregationist and separatist ideas define you, not us.

So from deep in the heart of the Midwest, from Ohio, the heart of it all, I raise my bottle of Cristal, eating my mango, blasting Wisin y Yandel, in a kitchen full of reggaeton dancers, where we celebrate the fourth of July and Veintiocho de Julio, where we do Christmas and Nochebuena, where our lullabies have tropical sounds, and our culture becomes part of my children who then will pass it on to their children, I celebrate the human element that unite us but also the differences that make us unique, and wish you lots and lots of peace pero sobretodo.. ..mucho, mucho AMOR!!!!!!! (1)(1) Walter Mercado

I am more than my numbers

My bank account sits at 70 dollars. My credit rating is of 450. My blood pressure is 120/70. My cholesterol is 235. I am 34 years old. I have been married 2 times. I have 3 children. I am 1 of 5 siblings. I am 5’4. I am 190 pounds. I have lived in 5 cities. I have owned 4 cars. I have worked with 3 Fortune 50 companies.

None of those numbers tell you anything about me. None of those numbers can give you an understanding of who I am. Of course, you can analyze the data and assume many things about me, but will they give you the whole story?

You can see that I am not rich, I have poor credit and I am relatively healthy though overweight. You can even say that I am slightly unstable (the whole moving thing) and that I am not dumb since I have been involved with good companies. And that tells you what??

Can you measure the compassion in my soul through my credit score? Can you know if I am kind because I am overweight? Will you be able to tell if I cry at the movies from my blood pressure?

I am more than my numbers.

You cannot round me up just by the numbers that pop up on a report. You cannot summarize who I am just by a tally of cold data that you have gathered. Adding up the numbers and taking away my errors will not give you a result based on truths, it only takes into account that which you see and you can analyze.

Like many people, I have made mistakes. I have taken false steps, I have fallen, I have gotten up, I have made the same mistake more than once and that still does not change who I am. Despite what the numbers tell you, I have not fallen from grace and because my numbers are not up to par with the world, it does not make me less worthy. You cannot tell whether or not I will succeed or fail, nor can you equate higher numbers with happier results.

You cannot take the measure of a man by the car he drives, the home he lives in or the job he has. You cannot see into the man he really is by looking to his credit score, reading his SAT results or sneaking a peek into his hemoglobin. You cannot understand someone based on their insurance policy, their 401K statement or their business cards. You will not touch someone with your checkbook, your diplomas or your title.

Once upon a time people had to learn how to relate to one another. There was no credit report that could tell you if the man in front of you was worthy, you evaluated him with your own eyes, you followed your own criteria and you trusted your instinct. Business men used to gage each other based on handshakes instead of resumes and curriculum vitae.

Men and women had learned to look at the little hints in someone’s conversation, in their tone and inflection to see if they were trustworthy or even to learn if the person in question would be a good friend. There was art in communication and some people developed their conversational skills as assiduously as others pursue their careers. Body language was a legitimate way of communicating and many engagements were based solely on the hints of this fine art.

Back in the day, you would look at someone and value their hard work by their actions, not by the accumulation of their wealth. People would be consulted on matters based on their demonstrated knowledge, not on the diplomas that hung on their wall.

It was the art of the shaman to look at someone with the eyes of the soul and to know the intentions of the other just by listening to his inner guides and following his instinct. As interconnected beings, when we meet someone, our inner bells tell us a more comprehensive story than a Federal background check.

Computers and technology are great allies in the world of communications. They have helped us breach distances and reach out to others who otherwise would not be a part of our world. However, as before, we forget that the progress we have made has also been based on the things we knew in the past. It is because of those experiences that we went through in the past that we have the knowledge that has birthed all of this advancement and extraordinary growth.

However, in this as in many other things, we toss the old and bring in the new and we create an unbalanced approach, one that does not serve us well.

You can see that same trend in agriculture, in education and schools and most significantly, in parenting. Spanking was once upon a time used as a disciplinary method. The child knew to behave because otherwise, he would face consequences. With the rise of the self esteem movement fueled by Dr. Spock, parents abandoned spanking; however, nothing took the place of spanking. And children grew up without any discipline, without any knowledge of cause and effect. No base was given to them as parents slacked and didn’t actively teach those values and discipline. Now we have a million of “millennials” scratching their heads because they don’t understand what went wrong.

It’s a pendulum effect, we lean too far into one side, which causes the next generation to do the opposite and then we lean too much in to the other side.

And many things will continue to be that way and that is just the way of life. However, in communications there are many things that stand to be lost in this new trend. We are forgetting to look deeper, further and with our other senses. We are forgetting how to relate to each other and how to reach out to others. The computer is a wonderful tool, I personally love Facebook and recommend it to everyone, young and old, but there is also something to be said for looking into someone’s eyes, for reaching into the firm grasp of someone’s honest handshake, the warmth and soothing effect of a hug from a loved one.

Our automatization has allowed for a more efficient way to deal with growth, with advancement and with progress. But as humans, we also need in place a way to deal with that part of us that makes mistakes, that falls short and that does not immediately fit the mold. People are not disposable, they will need second, third and fourth chances. Our society is not prepared to give them that second and third chance without taking away their dignity. We read each person’s file before we even meet them and make up our minds as to who and what they are before they have come into our life.

In short, the thinking skills that went with the times of old have been given up by the quick and easy to reach information that we all have access to. People listen to experts about what to do with their children, what to eat and how to live their life, they heed test results with numbers and data when their body has been telling them the same thing all along and their own inner guidance has always had the answers for them.

Many years ago, intangibles such as dignity, honor, and integrity had more value. Nowadays, scores and reports and data have taken over. And while all of them are great tools to get to know people, they are not the ultimate answer. When you stand in front of someone and want to asses their worthiness and their character, all you need to do is reach into you and see what your eyes wont tell you, listen for their song with your soul and recognize and smile and wait for the truth is always within your reach.

You are my Sunshine

You are my Sunshine
Mom, mom, mom! I got to get my clothes ready and I got to take my pens and my coloring pencils and lots of papers, there will be lots of animals on the road and I need to draw them so you know what they look like. Do you think I will be able to see lots of animals from the truck? Aren’t you excited mom? I get to go in the truck with dad, only us boys and wouldn’t it be great if we could go to Texas? I was born in Texas mom, I am a cowboy!!!

~I know baby

My only Sunshine
Mom? Do I need to take money? Will I need to buy stuff??? What if I have to buy something? Dad is going to be working and I am going to be working with him. I know this is not all fun and games, dad says we are going to be rolling all the time, I can work with dad, I am a big boy, I can help him, I can look out for other cars and I can tell him when we have to turn, I am a big boy mami. I know how to read, I can read to dad and I can read the map and I can show him where the states are. Do you know where the states are mami? Don’t worry if you don’t know, I will draw it for you and bring it back, is that ok mom?

That is fine baby.

You make me happy when skies are gray

Mom, what are you and the girls going to do? It’s going to be only boys in the truck and girls in the house. We are going to talk about all the stuff that boys talk about. We are going to talk about predators and wild animals, and guns and wars and all those scary stuff. You don’t like talking about that stuff do you mami? It’s ok, I will talk to daddy, but I know that we are just talking about it. We can’t hurt people or animals. You especially can’t hurt animals, right mami? Mami, when I grow up I want to be a man who takes care of animals and who makes sure they are not extinct. Maybe, I can go around the world rescuing animals and daddy can drive me in his truck, do you think I can do that mami?

You can do anything you want baby.

You’ll never know dear how much I love you
Mom, I am ready, I am going to go all over the United States and I am going to see all the other states and won’t it be cool mami if I see the ocean?? I love the ocean mami, great white sharks and dolphins live there and you can swim. Mom, do you think dad will let me read to him books about animals in the ocean? I hope he does, I brought my other animal books and my other books about zombies and the other books I like to read? Does daddy like to read? Yes, I think daddy likes to read. You love to read too mami, we are all a reading family aren’t we mami??

Yes baby, we are.

Oh please don’t take my sunshine away

Mami? Are you sad mami? Don’t be sad mami! I will be back in 11 days; you can almost count that with your fingers mami. I will be back soon, and I will miss you mami. I am not going to forget you mami, I will be back soon ok, and I will get you postcards and I will call you, can you give me your number so I can call you when I miss you. Oh man! I never had to call you on the phone before. Mami, when I come back I will tell you everything about the road and the truck and the things that I do with daddy. I will take care of daddy, I promise. I can’t drive the truck but I can help him, right mom? I am a big boy mom; I am going to work with dad. I love you mom.

I love you too baby.

Happy Independence Day!

Once upon a time, people lived in a land of oppression and restriction, the things that were important to them were limited by the government and they did not like situation, so off they went, into the uncertainty of the unknown, in search for fulfillment and happiness.

All through our life, we are, at one point or another, restricted. We are restricted by people and things around us, not all of us conform to the rules of the game and it is from our discomfort that we launch our desire for something different and we stand up and we make a change. And so it has been, throughout the ages, people who have been unhappy with the situation they were presented with, have stood up and said, I will not play by your rules, I will create my own rules.

Men controlled by their government, people sold through slavery, women unable to vote, minorities not recognized as whole people, the abused wife who gets beaten up and blames herself, the pushed around boy that is afraid of the bullies and the man who is punished for speaking his mind. These are all forms of oppression, if we have not personally lived through them, we know of someone who has; or at least we understand what it was like, back when it happened.

There are other forms of oppression. There is oppression that does not happen out in the open for everyone to see. There is oppression that is so deeply rooted into our customs of society and community that no one recognizes them as such, however, we know the effect.

There are those who have set rules in their hearts that they must follow regardless of the sacrifice. There are those who would follow the status quo and do what they are “supposed” to do even though they die each day, a bit more. I know you have met those who have experienced this form of oppression, even if you, yourself have not.

They are the ones that have lost the sparkle in their eyes.

There are men and women around the globe right now that wake up, go to work, pay their bills, cook dinner and go to bed and do the same everyday. They are the ones that robotically, allow life to go through them and they do not become engaged or involved in living.

Then there are those that know that their existence is empty and joyless and yet continue to live that way regardless of the fact that the emptiness that fills their heart threatens to drown them in sorrow. They knowingly sell themselves out by staying in a state of unhappiness waiting for tomorrow to bring courage, security, hope and freedom.

Furthermore, there are some that hear the music in their soul and don’t dance to their own tune because they have allowed someone else to dictate their steps. The boss, the spouse, the kids, the mother, society, even the banker. They have taken up the power that someone has chosen to give away in order to continue in their existence. Comfortable existence.

I know you have seen them; I know you know what they look like, what they sound like. They can sit there and give you 1001 good rationalizations as to why they are not doing what makes them happy. Some blame their parents, some blame society, the economy, hormones, and the rules. Some even blame God. They feel righteous for the fact that they are doing what they are supposed to do and look down on those who are different. They can quote the New York Times and the bible and give you excellent reference points for their decision to be and do what they do. They sit there and point at others who have done what they could not; and mock and judge praying that the others will fail so that their point could be proven, so that they could be validated in their choice to not take the plunge.

Some have even cocooned their life in an effort to protect themselves, in not wanting to be hurt; what they do not realize is that by avoiding pain, they have also avoided life.

And so which one are you? Whose tune do you dance to??

Creating your own music and dancing to your own song means no longer believing that society has any power over us. It means creating everything in your life from inspiration and creating life from one moment to another, not following a predestined path. It means asking the questions that no one else asks and thinking for yourself; it is shedding the masks that others wear to hide themselves from the world. It means being able to see with your soul and not believing in the “front” that everyone shows of themselves. It means listening to everyone else’s inner song and accepting that as the only truth. Being your own self means waking up to face life with a smile in your face for the sake of the smile not for what the day may bring. It means making peace with your essence and knowing that it does not matter what comes into your life experience, you are immutable, you are divine, you are FREE.

Do you feel Free?

Freedom is the ability to be the highest expression of yourself and do so without listening to the noise around you. Freedom is living in a constant state of detachment from things, from people, and even from life itself. Freedom means no “couldas”, “shouldas” or “havetos”. Freedom is singing out loud, dancing in the streets and loving exuberantly. Freedom is a physical high, a mental rush, a psychological indulgence and a spiritual uplift. Freedom comes from your cells; it invades your systems and rushes through your veins in a wave of intoxicating energy that raises you to the apex of life, for every day is the very best day in your life.

It is waking up in love with the world and acknowledging that despite the differences in our experience we are all, intrinsically, the same. It is the permission we give ourselves to fall as many times as we need to, to grow up, grow in, grow out and expand our spirit and experience life at its fullest.

It is the compassion to understand that everyone is different and allowing them their own experience without trying to get in the way. It is the courage to love when we feel it and to walk away when the experience is over. It is being honest with everyone about who you really are but mostly being honest with yourself about where and what you want to be.

In 1620, a group of people left Holland and faced impossible circumstances for a chance to be free. Half of the people that began the trip perished and the other ones faced many, many more trials once they arrived in Plymouth Rock. And in 1776, they organized and announced to the world their independence from the tyrant monarchy that oppressed them and recognized that all of us have unalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Like these original settlers, like the people within the civil rights movement, women’s suffrage, and everyone else who has stood up for a cause, so you have the unalienable right to pursue your happiness, to live life to the fullest expression of yourself and to change the rules of the game.
So, as we celebrate the independence of a nation, take the step, make the move, jump off the cliff and be free, be alive.

Happy Independence Day!

End of school year

The school year draws to a close and I reflect back in all of the things that my children have learned. Some of them are academic, some of them are social and some are neither, but it has definitely been a year of growth.

I am amazed at the amount of work and effort it takes to educate the children. It is a balance between state and board requirements, assessments and charts and doing a good job and doing what is right. Add to that the fact that some kids come with other needs that have not been met and the likelihood of success is greatly diminished. Despite the limits, complications and everything else that comes to light while the kids are school, the lesson continues, the learning flows and the teachers push a bit more, the kids learn a bit more, and we all belief just a little bit more.

I have learned a lot this year too. I have learned that there is no way that you can be with these children for such a long time and not become emotionally involved. My own heart swells as they come to me with their little arms outstretched and hug me as their day begins. There is so much more than learning when you are involved with these children.

There is love.

If there was truly a labor of love it is that of teaching a child. It is the building him or her up with so much faith in themselves that they believe in their little hearts that they will accomplish that which they must do. It is earning their trust enough that they can come to you anytime and building respect so that they may function inside their little community. It is coming every morning and leading them into a love of learning so that they not only learn how to add and subtract, but they also learn how to think and make good choices.

The teachers at Wilmington Schools have taught me to look into the eyes of each of these children and to know their story and to believe in them and to give of myself to them, completely. It is their passion in developing each of these little beings, their believe that they can be so much more than we imagine that keeps them at it, every morning, every day, for 365 days a year, for you don’t really believe that the love and concern stops when they move on to the next grade do you?

To the teachers who have given everything they have to give, who have pushed, who have prodded, who have expected more of the children and have shown me how to be helpful and assist in their learning process, I am eternally grateful. Thank you for believing in my child and thank you for the love and dedication you have shown. A little bit of you will forever remain in my child and I am blessed that they have learned so much from you.

Even in high school the teachers have an integral part of the kids’ life. The teachers they feel they can go to and the teachers they feel they can reach out to; those are the ones that they will remember forever.

To all of the teachers everywhere, thank you.

Mrs. Barley, Mrs. Spahr, thank you for allowing me into your classroom, for teaching me by your wonderful example how to reach each child and for allowing me to be a part of their life. What I have given seems so little compared to what I take away, yet I will be back, again and again and look forward to working with you again.

Mr. Wallingford, Mr. Geggie, being able to reach and talk to a teenager and inspiring them to more is a task that seems daunting, yet you manage it with such ease. Aside from my personal experience from meeting you, I hear the kids talk about you and I am grateful for your dedication and your gift. Thank you for being a bright light in the nebulous path of teenagedom.

And Mrs. Alford, wherever you are, thank you for believing in me; your words follow me wherever I go, gracias mamá.

Claudia Martini-Garlo
Wilmington
As submitted to the Wilmington News Journal, Wilmington, Ohio
May 28, 2009

Closer to you....

One day I will go back, I will hold you in my arms and I will tell you that the pain that we caused each other is forgiven, it’s forgotten and gone.

One day I will go back and I will tell you that your stories taught me about life, that the memories of our times together pushed me to seek the truth within me.

One day I will go back and I will tell you that there is so much of you in me, your thoughts, your ideas, your melancholy.

One day I will go back and show you my writings and watch you read them expectantly, hoping that you like them, looking for the appreciation in your smile.

One day I will go back and take you your grandchildren so you can love them exuberantly like you loved me, so you can tell them your stories and sing to them your songs, do you remember?

One day I will go back and beg your forgiveness, I will tell you that I was proud, that I was arrogant that I thought that the love that we shared could be left behind, I was so wrong.

The day is gone, the moment over, the opportunity lost. Left in my heart is the careful moment I orchestrated in my head, I would find you, we would recognize each other and in an embrace, we would melt away all of the years, the moments, the difficulties that had kept us away from one another. You would tell me that you had missed me, that you love me and that in the 20 years we have been apart, you thought of me constantly. You would look at me and be proud of the woman I have become and take me in your arms and be that shelter that I remember from such a long time ago.

One phone call. One word. I am sorry, he is gone.

There would be no finding each other, no embrace, no I love you, no last words.

What do I do with all of this left in my heart? What do I do with the words I never spoke and the love I never gave? What can I do now that you are gone??? Who will ever understand?

I listen to the music like you did and I read the books the way you did too, I cook just as extravagantly and in my love for my children, there is the same exuberance I learnt from you. The love of life, the happy lie, the inner light, they are from you. All of it from you, and you never knew, I never told you, I didn’t get to say, I am just like you.

And just like you, I grab a paper, I reach for my pen, I write down these words for the world to read. I give of my self, like you taught me to do, from the very first time you put the pen in my hand.

I write the words that heal, the words that soothe, the words that reach across the worlds. I write the words that anger, that evoke thoughts. I write the words that come from the heart, that stir the soul, that feed the mind. I write the words that come to me, I write because that is what I do, I write because like breathing, I need it. I write because writing makes me feel closer to you.

Thank you Daddy…

Raising teenagers

Every morning, I touch bases with my BFF Amber, just so that we know what is going on, our lives are much intertwined. So this morning she was letting me know that Jeremy, her hubby, would be bringing Kaci and telling me about the weekend plans and the babysitting Victoria would do for them.

She told me she would be picking her up at noonish . Anticipating the wonderful dinner that my husband would be making, I asked what time would she be home so we could hold off dinner until then. She told me Victoria had agreed to babysit while they went to dinner as well.
To tell you that I was shocked and upset, would be putting it mildly.

Victoria did what???

Did she forget it was Mother’s day??? No she could not have, I told her about it myself.

And at first it was ok, I got it, she had to work, she had to understand what it was like to have to work when there were things you wanted to do….

Regardless, we are not talking about 4th of July or Memorial Day, this is Mother’s Day!

Well, she had been asked to babysit in front of me and I could have said no.

But that is the point, isn’t it? She was supposed to say no…

Did you feel that???

It was a disturbance in the force. It was a hormonal mushroom cloud that detonated in the middle of Wilmington, OH.

In a case of histrionics, bigger than Vivi Abbot Walker ever displayed, (if you don’t know who she is, watch Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood). I cried, I screamed, I held my fist up to the heavens and I cursed the fact that this child born of my body did not care at all about her mom. (Yes, this is STILL about the Mother’s Day thing). I called her and in my most martyred voice, I told her that I guess she didn’t have a mom, since she would not be celebrating Mother’s Day.

I know, I know, not nice, but I could not help myself.

I emailed her dad. (He should know what kind of inconsiderate, selfish brat he was raising)

I called my mom. (Oops! Forgot she was in Peru, good thing too, she would have told me that I did the same thing…. Don’t want to hear it mom!!!!)

I was going to call Luis (he would have asked me to take responsibility, I wasn’t there yet)

DAMN!!! 1400 minutes to call anyone and I could not think of anyone.

Finally, I called Mary, she has a teenager, she knows how it is to live with the treacherous, little conniving, inconsiderate, self-centered, hateful being that says she comes from me, but OH NO!
She could not have…. I know it, she was switched at birth!!!!

So in between sobs and agonizing tears, I told her what she had done. She had chosen NOT to spend Mother’s Day with me, her mother.

She let me cry, she let me tell her everything that was going on inside me, and in the way that we usually do, we talked about it and I felt better. I even smiled and unlocked all the doors and put her furniture back in her room, re-established service back to her cell phone and cancelled the root canal she didn’t need.

Once past the hormones and the state of devastation that I felt at the very beginning, I called Tony, and told him about what his daughter had done. Yes, I know Victoria has more than one dad, she has more than one mom too, but that’s not here, nor there!!

I began to tell Tony about the viper’s decision and in his calmest voice, he told me: Birds gotta fly outta the nest mom, I guess she is just trying out her wings.

I hate it when wisdom comes from someone I totally don’t expect. And at the moment I don’t expect it.

Two days ago, I cried at the store because my son had gone through a growth spurt, today Victoria makes decisions that I don’t like, what is Gabriela doing tomorrow? Moving out?

But so it is, you bring them into this world, you love them, you nurture them, you give them everything you can and you pray to the Gods that they are ready, that they are listening. You hold them to your heart, in your arms and you want to keep them from harm and from pain. You talk to them, yell at them, cry at them and sometimes laugh at their attempts to be grown up. But I guess the reality is that they will eventually grow up and walk out and leave and try out their wings.

I finished talking to Tony and I went to the bathroom to get something for my eyes so they are not swollen, as I looked at myself in the mirror, I recognized that look. I had seen it in my mother’s eyes many years ago, when I first tried out my wings.

I texted my daughter and told her that I love her, that I was sorry and that I was very proud of her for being responsible and working and that despite the fact that her mom was crazy, she had turned out quite wonderful. I grabbed all the baby books and went back to the first moment, to the moment I fell in love with each of my little ones.

I didn’t sign up for this, I had no idea my heart would be split in threes and walk out of my own door.

And so it is. Children come to us, children grow and children leave. And so is life…. And life goes on…

All that I am...

We are the sum of all of our parts. The sum of our experiences, the sum of our lessons and the sum of the indelible footprints of the people that have shared our path. There are also some people that have made such a difference in you that you don’t even realize how much of an impact their words have had until you find yourself repeating their words.

Being a mother is the most important job I’ve ever had and will probably, ever have. Everything that I try to be, say and do is measured in how it affects my job and I take pride and delight in my job. I make mistakes, like everyone else, but I try to learn from those mistakes.

I have had the blessing of being surrounded by wonderful people who have shared their thoughts and their ways with me. With their example, they have set the path for me to follow, and I have gathered all of that and become who I am.

And so, this Mother’s Day, as I sit back and rejoice in the love that my children give me, I have to say thank you. I have to acknowledge how you have touched my life and hope that by my actions, I can honor the lesson taught. Some of you may not even be mothers but you will find that in life, lessons come from the unlikeliest people and places….

To all of you, my undying love and gratitude and I give you in my writing a little piece of me, may it serve you as your presence in my life has served me….

First and foremost, I must acknowledge my mother, to those of you that know me and know our history, you are well aware that ours has been a rocky path and that at times we have not had the best of relationships, however, I treasure each and everyone of the difficulties we have gone through. You see, she has taught me to be fierce. Her love is unshakable. Despite the difficulties she has lived through she has never given up, she is a warrior and will give her most in any given situation. Her constant need to improve herself and be more, is a source of inspiration and her hard façade may have fooled some, but it hasn’t fooled you, has it??? In her heart of hearts, she loves intensely and there isn’t a sacrifice that is large enough where her daughters and grandkids are concerned. She will tell you like it is, she is blunt, direct and sometimes she can be a bit rough, but it is out of love. It took me a long time to understand her meaning of love, it took me a long time to realize that she was just the sum of all of her experiences, but now that I do, I can accept that despite the cold and indifferent exterior, she did her absolute best, at all times. How could I ever ask for more???

Alongside with my mother, her sisters have been a constant source of inspiration. In my early years, I was blessed to be immersed in my Tia Tere’s love. Her willingness to love unconditionally. She was the very first one that taught me about that kind of love. She taught us to love our family and to honor that love and to stand beside them. She taught us about our cousins from afar talking about them as if we already knew them, so that when I finally came here, it was easy to fall into rapport with them. She had planted the seeds for the relationship we would have. She taught me that humor is more valuable than money and whenever I get sad, I think of one of her antics and all is well again.

Mina is the epitome of generosity. Not because she is always distributing food to everyone, although I would kill for one of her flans right now, but because she selflessly has given ALL of us a little bit of her self. In her giant heart, she has made room for our equally giant family and she always cares, she always shows it and with a phone call, with a card, with a gesture, she has woven her way into our souls and shown us that love is the answer.

Teco was my aunt too, but she never acted like an aunt. To me she was someone loving and understanding that was wonderful to have around, like a blanket that protects you and keeps you, going to her house and talking to her was an escape, it was sacred ground. She was all-accepting, and she listened to my childhood woes as if I was telling her the most important story in the world, there was something soothing in her presence and I always envied her daughter for all the love that her mom so freely bestowed on her, all of the soft and loving moments they shared when I was in their home. I carry those images in my heart and hope that wherever she is, she knows that she is very much loved.

Despite the fact that I did not have a relationship with my Tia Alcira and my Tia Fela, those two women taught me the meaning of courage. Their courage in coming to a new country with their children and creating a new world of possibilities for them is inspiring. Losing my Tia Alcira was devastating, in a world where each one of my aunts are strong and powerful in their own way, only made me realize that they are also not eternal and that one day I would have to face this world without them. It will be a sad world indeed.

In a large family as the one I have, there are cousins that are older than I am and of course the filial relationship that I had with some of my contemporaries was not possible, but in their own way, they taught me much.

Gladys is a rock. When the world crumbles, she comes in and does what needs to be done and sets right the wrongs. She stood indomitably while Teco was ill and took care of everything, she was at a thousand different places at once and had more to handle than many of us realize, and she still had time to take us all kids out. She would pile all of us in her car and take us through a drive thru and let us play, let us enjoy the moment of innocence while she took care of the rest, while she took the world on her shoulders.

I haven’t talked to my cousin Olga in a long time, much longer than it is decent to admit, and the older I get, the more I realize how much she touched my life. In a world where everyone sought to make our new life here in the states, one of sacrifice and duress, she showed me a different life. Much aside from her fabulous flair, she showed me that it was ok to take care of your self, to be generous with yourself. She is splendid and worked hard, but she also played hard. She lived life. There were no compromises, ever. She knew what she wanted and how she wanted it and she went about it with passion and determination. She achieved, not only for herself, but also for those around her. Being around her was an intoxicating experience, are you hungry???? Her table was always laden by the best foods. Are you bored??? Her parties and get-togethers are still the highlight of some of our lives. But her life was not only about that, she stressed to us kids that we had to be ready, we had to ready ourselves to be and have everything we wanted. She taught us to work hard, yes, but to think and plan, use our minds, and go to school as well. She lived The Secret before anyone marketed it, and inadvertently SHOWED us that life is what you make of it.

My cousin Papi, ok his name is Cesar but I can’t get used to calling him that, he is perhaps one of the most unlikely contributors, but he has taught me about being in the moment. Children naturally flock to him, he is there at their level, engaging them and talking to them and playing with them. He is loving and generous, and even though he is hard to pin to one spot, once you do, he does what he does and you are there, in the moment with him. Well, children know…

Joyce Martini, my ex-husband’s mom, taught me to accept, to love and to be a part of my children’s lives. From the PTA, to the cookies baked, to being around the grand kids and always lending a helping hand, her love has no limit. My mother- in-law today, taught me one of the hardest lessons yet. She taught me how to let go, a little bit. In times when there is nothing else that you can do, she taught me that to love meant to simply let go. I still struggle with this lesson but I am grateful that I’ve had it and that I learnt it from her lovingly.

In order to be a wonderful mom, I have to be surrounded and supported by wonderful dads and I am blessed by the two men who have shared this experience with me. My husband Tony and my ex-husband Kevin are just as devoted to their children as I am, they are loving in their own unique way and they are there, willing to listen and willing to get their hands dirty in the raising of the children. They take uncommon interest in the life of their kids and are involved in every minute detail. They are wonderful providers and are everything a father should be.

My daughter is lucky that she has two moms. Kelly, Kevin’s wife has been, always, loving and accepting of Victoria. Victoria is her own and I love their relationship and I thank God that someone else is there, loving my child, and giving her the unconditional love and wisdom that only another mom can give.

I have my very own personal doctor. When my children are sick, I send an email and then I make a doctor’s appointment. The media can confuse you about the decisions about your child’s well being, but my cousin Arturo shares with me his knowledge of the wonderful world of nature, teaching me and giving me the tools to make my kids healthy and give them a connection to the natural world.

Mrs. Anne Pas came into my life and filled me with confidence and understanding. When I was confused and lost and had not yet found my peace with my mother, this wonderful woman, held my hand and lovingly guided me into self-confidence and self-reliance. Her patience is infinite and her caring ways allowed me to heal many things in my life that had held me from becoming everything I wanted to be. In the disguise of a boss, this wonderful woman shed light into my darkness and taught me about listening and family.

Last, but absolutely not least are my immediate circle. Luis, Mary and Amber. In this ever changing world, parenting of all things, did not come with a manual, however, when I doubt, when I am confused, frustrated, angry or lost, I call them, they are the ones that I can talk to, vent to and cry to when I feel drained and insecure. I talk to them often enough and I always feel renewed, with new hope and energy to deal with the rest of the day…. To you my unconditional love.

I am a complete, fulfilled and happy being. I rejoice in the love I give, in the moments I create. I am the sum of everything I have ever experienced, learned and seen. I have evolved into the person I am today and I am excited to find out who I will be tomorrow. But I could not be everything I am without the people who have touched my life. On this Mother’s Day, I am grateful for you and everything you have given me.

Integrity and Faith

I received an email this week about how the father of one of the victims of the Columbine shooting absolved the NRA from any responsibility for Eric and Dylan’s actions. Instead, he said, that as people we have failed to account for the other needs of our children. He explains that as three part beings, mind, body and soul, our schools may nourish the mind and body but our soul is lacking. He believes that what would have prevented this incident is prayer in school.

Ok, so I do agree that the NRA is not at fault for the shooting of anyone. But I do not agree that prayer by a few would have prevented those two boys from doing what they did that day.

Spirituality, under whatever label you prefer to refer to it by, should be taught at home. Values, morals and spirituality are things that should be taught by parents. (And a village, if you are of the same views as Mrs. Clinton, like I am. )

It is our job to raise whole children. Not just the teachers.

Whole children?

A whole child is a child that not only has food, shelter and clothing but who has been nurtured and appreciated. A whole child is one whose emotional needs have been fulfilled as well as his physical ones. A whole child is a child who has been taught about reciprocity and caring for one another as human beings, one who has respect for life in all levels. A whole child is one who uses his faith daily, not just when the chips are down. A child who understands that a little bit of the divine lies in all of us and therefore knows that in order to gain fortitude to go through life you reach deep inside and then you reach out.

Our parents taught us to work, to stick to the grind, to commit to our success and to be more than they were, for that is the job of our generation. In the growth and evolution of people, corporal punishment and discipline were discarded for indifference towards a child. They were no longer beaten when they were disrespectful, so they were not taught to respect. They were not spanked for lying, so they were not taught integrity. We forgot that because we were taking away the harsher way of teaching our kids, it didn’t mean that we did not still have the job of teaching them and preparing them for tomorrow.

It is my personal opinion that two of the biggest things missing are Faith and Integrity.

Faith in what??? I don't know that is up to you to decide.

Integrity? YES!

Integrity of your word, of your thoughts of your actions. Integrity of being 100% in the moment that you are in and always acting with the best intentions at all moments and taking personal responsibility when you don’t. Integrity in staying true and standing by your word. Remember, once upon a time a man's word was his most valuable asset, nowadays we look at scores, ratings and profiles, as if those things could give us the measure of a man.

The measure of a man is in how he reacts to someone else's pain and someone else's need. It is in the compassion of his actions and the understanding with which he views his brothers and sisters and in the inner strength that he derives from his spirituality and his faith.

We are an unbelievable collective. But we keep missing the lesson.

Progress is not possible by just a few of us. It has to be achieved by all of us if it is to have any type of significance. The weakest link concept. You cannot reach the pinnacle of life knowing that your brother or sister is destitute. It is out of integrity.

You cannot call for prayer, nor call yourself a Christian when you look at your brother and sister and judge them because their actions are different than yours.

We have failed to have compassionate hearts so that those of us having a hard time may reach out to us in their time of need. We have failed in accepting all of us as children of a greater being because even now bad feelings and words flow between us.

I know, many of you will say… “I didn’t say anything” but you heard the words and you listened to them and you accepted them. You condoned that behavior. Your indifference makes you just as guilty.

Way back in our collective history, our grandfathers knew that for something to grow and blossom and prosper you needed to take care of it and nurture it and feed it. It was a constant commitment to life and it involved so much care.

Our family tree grows in size only. Our branches are so dispersed we have forgotten that we are all part of one. Some of our branches have reached so high that we forget that we all come from the very same seed, that we share our roots.

So what have we taught our children thus far?

We have shown them intolerance with their mistakes.

We have not given them room to grow and be whatever they choose to be because of the profitability of their choices.

We shown them that things are more important than the people who are a part of us.

We have demonstrated, time and time again, that indifference protects us from getting too involved, getting our hands too dirty.

We have taught them to take family and friends for granted and to value more jobs, careers and profitability margins.

How do we heal that? How do we correct our ways???

Easily. Put your pride, your ego, your indifference aside and reach inside you, yes INSIDE you for that little part of you that yearns the love of your family, of your friends of your fellow human beings and (are you ready, it is cliché) REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE.

Reach out for that sibling that needs you to listen and just listen. No strings attached.

Reach out to that family member whom you haven’t seen in moons and have lunch with them, no judgments.

Reach out to that person that has wronged you and ask them to forgive you, because that is leading by example.

Reach out for more than your immediately family and get together to celebrate love and one another, no gossip.

In a family of human beings as large as ours there is no need for any of us to do without. Without help, without understanding, without compassion, without unconditional love. In these times when life is evolving faster than we can process, we need to give our children that gift.

The gift of integrity and personal empowerment. And the gift of faith, in themselves, in one another, in the greater collective and in love.

And as John Lennon said, with all of those lessons learned, all you need is love, my friends, all you need is love.

I believe Mr. Scott that what killed your daughter that day in that school cafeteria was not lack of prayer in the schools. It was lack of love and integrity. Lack of love for those boys who were able to do all of their planning for murder without their parents knowing what they were up to. Lack of integrity for the disrespect of the meaning of someone else’s life.

And I am sorry. I had nothing to do with the death of your daughter but I am sorry that this has happened to you. I know that nothing I say can ever bring Rachel back to you, but I am sorry that we live in a society where murder still happens, where we fail to realize that when we kill someone, we kill a little bit if ourselves. Because as many parts of a greater whole, we are all interconnected. All of us.

Happy Birthday Nick

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Nicholas, Happy Birthday to you!!

If I had one minute to share with you today, I would tell you that you are loved, more than you imagine.

If I had one hour with you today, I would tell you that I love you, with all of my heart. That the fact that we have not set eyes on each other doesn’t change a thing and that I do understand.

If I had one day with you, I would ask you a thousand questions and I would try to get to know you, know your favorite ice cream flavor, your favorite song, your favorite wii game, so every time I saw them I would think about you Nick.

If I had one week with you I would I would tell you my story and show you how much we have in common, how much alike our stories are and how much I wish I could spare you the pain that you must feel right now.

If I had one month with you, I would hold your hand as you came to understand that we have never stopped loving you or wanting you, that we made mistakes and sometimes life doesn’t allow us to do the things we want but that as soon as we could we came back to be close to you.
If I had a year to share with you I would take you to the places of your own, so that you could see with your own eyes that you have always been loved, that not only do you have a family with brothers and sisters and a dad and a stepmom, you have a grandma and an aunt and uncle who have learnt to love you from afar with the hope that one day they will meet you, once more.
If I had a lifetime to share with you, I would tell you that love is unconditional. I would tell you that the mistakes that our parents have made are their own mistakes and they do not define us. I would tell you that their mistakes were based on their own feelings and emotions and they had NOTHING to do with you. I would make sure that you knew that it was nothing you did or didn’t do, nothing you said or didn’t say, nothing you were or couldn’t be and everything to do with what they did and didn’t do, for you. However, despite their mistakes, despite their ignorance that has hurt you so much, they love you. It is in their effort to show you that love that they erred and that sometimes they don’t understand how much their mistakes hurt others, innocent others.

I don’t have any of those things, but I have hope that one day I will meet you. I have faith that our paths will cross and I will be able to share with you all of the love I have for you and I pray, I pray with all of my heart that one day you will be here, with your family, in love.

Happy Birthday Nick until we meet….

Celebrating President's day

Wednesday morning came and I walked out of the house with both kids in tow. I got to school and the lesson began. On Wednesdays we do social studies, today we talked about President’s day.

On our little newspaper the proud picture of Abe Lincoln and George Washington looked solemnly at the kids while Mrs. First Grade went over why they were so memorable.

She asked if everyone knew why Washington was popular and a flurry of little hands went into the air ready with the answer. Then she asked why Abe Lincoln was a memorable president and less hands shot into the air and it was mainly suggested that he may have been another “cool-number” president. We established that while sixteen wasn’t a very cool number, we remembered Lincoln because of what he did, not because of his place on the presidents list.

I looked around uncomfortably and wondered how she was going to explain slavery to a room-full of first graders. Thank God for Mrs. First Grade.

She explained that back in the times of Lincoln they did not have the machines that we have now. That in order for food to be grown and buildings to be built, they needed a lot of people to do the jobs of the machines. She explained that back then some people were brought to the states in order to work in those projects and that they were known as slaves. She told the kids that Mr. Lincoln did not agree with the way the workers of those fields and projects were treated because he believed in the constitution and that he thought EVERYONE was created equal.

I thought she had done fantastically; she had told the kids everything and yet not caused any ripples or questions in their little minds. I congratulated her mentally and admired her style in diplomatically explaining one of the lowest moments in humanity.

Everyone was listening to her talk and you could see that they were listening but that this information did not touch them personally. In an environment where you cannot offend nor defend any position, such as in a school, it is difficult to tip-toe the line.

Considering that we had safely avoided the whole slavery situation I started walking towards the work table to hand out the assignments. As I make my way through the classroom, Mrs. First Grade tells the class, “You know, if it wouldn’t have been for Abe Lincoln, President Obama would never have made it to the White House”

Screeeecchhh!!!! Oh Boy! I thought we were going to leave it alone!

By presenting them with something so relevant, they were forced to think about it and to make the information personal. Well, not many of them said much. I was thanking all the little angels that had helped us avoid that whole conversation, when Mrs. First Grade said, “As a matter of fact boys and girls, if it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, some of our friends in this class would not be allowed to be here with us.”

Now she had done it.

All of their little faces lit up in attention and she had them all. Even the ones that normally count the tiles on the ceiling were totally focused on her. I could not believe she had brought herself into this conversation, on purpose.

All of my internal bells were going off. This is a danger zone. The chances that you may offend or become politically incorrect are so great; we just avoid the whole field.

Mrs. First Grade had jumped in with both feet.

Unbelievably enough as Mrs. First Grade explained slavery and racism to a room full of six and seven-year-olds, you could see the confusion in their faces, you could see that they could not understand the concept of what she was explaining.

Mrs. First Grade asked everyone to look around and notice the different shades that we all were. There were some African Americans, some Hispanics and the rest were Caucasians. She then asked them to imagine that some of their friends would not be able to join us in the classroom. Everyone looked around, everyone looked at those of us who were darker and one of the little girls shot up her hand and said, “Mrs. First Grader that would hurt our friends’ feelings!!!” Everyone else started saying the same.

My eyes filled with tears, these children do not recognize the basis for racism. They see nothing different in you and me, in the color of our skin, in the accent in our voices. They have been brought up in a world where those differences no longer exist. Racism continues to live in the hearts of the older generations who have been jaded and teach our children to watch out for the man, therefore perpetuating the existence of our greatest foe. Racism is learned.
In the heart of these six year olds, the world is wide and inclusive, it is vast and loving and full of friends. They do not see differences, they see only people….

The bell rings and they get ready to go home. They have completed another day of school, off they go and as they walk away, they say “Bye Mrs. Garlo” and I get 28 hugs good bye. Love is color blind.

A truck driver brought it.....

Hi, my name is Claudia and I am worrier. Yes, I hate to admit it but I worry. A lot.

I worry about the environment and the world we are leaving behind for our children. I worry about the kids and how they are growing up and whether I am doing everything and anything necessary to make sure that they have all the tools they need to be happy. I worry about road conditions and the weather. I worry about my stepson. I worry about my mother. Heck, I even worry about the cats.

But more often than not, I worry the economy. I don’t worry about the economy in the sense that will the markets collapse? Will capitalist life as we know it cease to exist? I worry about whether or not it will be enough; whether I will have enough, whether there will be enough. I know, I know, any good metaphysic student worth their salt would tell you that I am manifesting lack; or any bible reader would tell you that God assures us that all of our needs are met.

But I need more reassurance, so I turn to my husband.

My poor husband.

He does not need to be told what is wrong, he can already tell by the sound of my voice…


~Hi!
~Hi!
~What’s wrong?
~Nothing is wrong, God, just because I call, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. ~No, I didn’t say anything was wrong because you called; I just meant that there is something wrong because of your tone of voice.
~Oh! Well, yeah, there is something wrong…..
~What is it Claudia?
~Can you say it for me? Please?
~Again??
~Oh come one, pleaasssee?????
~Everything is going to be ok baby.
~Promise?
~Yes, promise….
~What did it this time?? What got you so upset and paranoid?
~I was at the school and there are some kids that are talking about their parents losing their jobs and about them being hungry, it’s scary.
~It will be ok baby, I will keep rolling and we will be ok.

Pheeewww!!!!

I know he can’t guarantee that he will never break his promise. I know that in the unstable times that we live, we are all at the mercy of what happens in our economic market. However, I know for a fact that goods will always have to be moved, taken from the producer to the manufacturer and then to the end consumer. I know that as long as there is production and consumption my husband will have a job. I know this because everything, absolutely everything that you come in contact with everyday has been brought to you by a trucker.

We played this game once. He said name one thing that you use that was not at one point or another in the back of a truck. Me, being the smarty-pants that I usually am, had thought of something way at the beginning of the conversation, because I knew where this was going and I told him my answer, feeling smug that he would not be able to knock it down…..

“The vegetables I buy at the local market!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He gave me “the look”; I knew I was in trouble….

“What about the seed? Where did the seed come from? What about the soil? What about the tools that you use to work the soil? What about the fertilizer?”

“Uhhhhhhh!!!! Well, there is the sunshine….. “

“Whatever!!” he responded

I knew I had lost this argument…

The seeds, the soil, the fertilizer, the hoe, the farming instruments, all of it. They have all, at one point or another been in the back of a truck.

Take a shovel, for example. The wood is produced somewhere and then processed and shipped to a factory for manufacturing (trip one). Once they are done treating it and shaping it and doing whatever else they have to do to it, it is then shipped to the assembly company where it will meet up with the metal part of it and be put together and tested for quality (trip two). Finally, it will be loaded up for it’s third trip onto a semi and taken to the store where the farmer will pick it up and take it home to air the land to plant the seed that he picked up in the store to give you tasty locally grown veggies and fruits.

OK, ok, so that is not totally accurate, I still have not gotten any calls back from the tractor supply store to ask them where their hoes came from, (don’t think that I will ), but it gives you an idea of how many times a truck driver is involved in the products that touch your life.

The life of a truck driver is not easy. He wakes up, eats, bathes and goes to the bathroom based on the demands placed upon him by his load. He can be out on the road for 2 days, 2 weeks or even 2 months. I know of those road warriors that have no home, other than their truck.

They spend hours away from family and friends delivering the goods that we consume, battling the same traffic that we do, and anticipating the errors of those who underestimate an 80,000 lbs piece of machinery.

However, this they do. They wake up, get their truck in gear and they get to where they need to go and they keep rolling, and they keep moving. There are 3.5 million truck drivers in the US, according to the DOT. These trucks generate an estimated 255 billion dollars of revenue on a yearly basis. Truckers will continue to roll and the products that you expect in your usual stores will continue to show up. Rain, snow, ice, no matter what the weather condition is, a trucker is still expected to roll and roll he will. Next time you see a truck driver roll next to you, wave at him and thank him because he is a sign of a still-alive economy, he is a sign that manufacturing and producing plants are still operating and creating jobs. They are a sign that there is still a demand for products in the stores and retailers will hire and goods will continue being sold.

Thank you baby.

Yeah, I think we will be ok.

To my beloved Aunt

This is homage, tribute, song and verse
For someone kind, someone gentle
Someone who always put everyone else first
Through life immemorial, she’s been near
Loving, caring, giving, calling, being there

She loves selflessly
She gives generously
She has lived a life of service
To you and me and God

She bore no children, but had kids
She was rich and gave it all away
She could have been free and left us
She stayed and loved in spite of us
She is our nucleus, our path back, our way

Our lives are thus enriched,
Our paths are enlightened with her glow
Her life to us she has given,
To love, to family and God.

Would that you be so blessed,
Would that you be so loved,
Would that you have angel
Like our Mina, touch your soul.

I have to come clean with all of you. I bought Christmas cards and even presents, but I am so distracted and air-headed that I totally forgot to send them. It’s almost Valentines and I am still tripping over envelopes and birthday cards from last year. It isn’t that I don’t remember, I just forget to do something about remembering. The internet has helped me a lot. I am able to reach out to a lot of people and let them know that I love them and how very important they are for me. If I had to do it through snail mail, well, I would be tripping over a lot more boxes and a lot more cards.

I have always admired people that send their presents out on time and that always send the perfect card and that always have it all together like that. Is it that they care more?? I wouldn’t say that, I would say they cared differently.

In a numerous family as mine, it is almost impossible to remember everyone’s birthday and to reach out and let them know they are loved. It is almost impossible to try to reach every corner where we have gone to and let you know that you are remembered and that you are loved, especially if you don’t have internet. It is almost impossible to get a little something for everyone and to share what you have and divide it so much so that it reaches every one, at least a little bit. Almost…

My aunt is an emissary of goodness and love hereon earth. She is the quintessential light worker and reaches out with love and generosity, offering a prayer and passing the treasures that come to her onto everyone who surrounds her. She is the staunchest believer in people and is fiercely loyal to her belief in goodness, forgiveness and acceptance.

People that share her faith know that her conviction is admirable, her faith unshakable and the love that she feels for her creator are her light and salvation. She believed in God when it was cool to be religious and even now that it is not so cool. She carries her bible and has remained true through the decades of love, apathy, cynicism and awakening. Through the changes in the world and the evolutions of spirit she still labors the same way, showing love, sharing grace and living life with integrity and for the sake of others.

One day, we will have to imagine what will become of us when she is no longer with us. However that day is not upon us and we still have the opportunity and the grace to reach out to her and tell her that she is loved, that she is cared for and appreciated for the wonderful things she has filled our lives with. We can still tell her that she touched our lives and that somehow we are a little better, a little wiser because of her actions, because of her example.

I wish for everyone to have a Mina, I wish for everyone to be blessed with that grace that she bestows upon us. If you have your own Mina, reach out to her and tell her how she has changed your life and tell her how much her life has impacted yours. Tell her she has made a difference and how you are blessed with her love.

Tomorrow is her birthday and I will celebrate her presence in my life. I will cheer the love that has reached throughout the years and the miles and pray that we are blessed with yet another year of her miraculous touch.

Happy Birthday Beloved Mina
With all of our love,
China
Victoria, Damian, Tony and la Flaca…


Tengo que confesarles algo. Yo compre tarjetas y regalos de navidad, pero soy tan distraida y tan alocada, que no los mande. Ya es casi dia de San Valentin y todavia me estoy tropezando con cajas de regalos y tarjetas de cumpleaños de el año pasado. No es que no me acuerde, pero siempre me olvido de hacer algo con lo que me acuerdo.
La internet me ha ayudado. Ahora tengo la oportunidad de compartir y conversar con diferentes personas y decirles lo mucho que los quiero y cuan importante son para mi. SI tuviera que usar el correo regular, bueno, necesitaria otra casa para las tarjetas y los regalos.

Yo siempre he admirado a las personas que envian sus regalos a tiempo y siempre mandan la tarjeta perfecta. Es porque a ellos les importa mas, ellos quieren mas?? Yo creo que para ellos es diferente.

En una familia tan numerosa como la mia, es casi imposible acordarse de los cumpleaños de todos y dejarles saber de que son recordados. Es casi imposible alcanzara todas las esquinas y los caminos donde nos ha llevado la vida y recordarte lo mucho que eres querido y apreciado. Es casi imposible comprar regalitos y detalles a todos y compartir con todos lo que tienes, dividirlo cien y mil veces para que todos tengan, para que todos estemos bien.
Digo casi porque hay una persona que si se acuerda, que si se preocupa, no solamente en tu cumpleaños y navidad, sino siempre y por todos. Alguien que a pesar de que no tiene es millonaria, reparte sus tesoros, su tiempo y su amor entre todos nosotros. Mi tia Mina es unica.
Mi tia es una emisaria de la bondad y el amor en la tierra. Ella es un ser iluminado que toca a todos con su amor y su generosidad, ofreciendo una plegaria y compartiendo sus momentos, sus manjares, sus tesoros. Ella cree en la gente, en el bien, el perdon y la comprension hacia todos.
La gente que comparte su fe saben que su conviccion es admirable, su fe es inquebrantable y el amor que ella siente por su creador son su luz y su salvacion. Ella creia en Dios cuando creer en Dios estaba de moda, y aun ahora que no esta tan de moda. Ella lleva su biblia y ofrece a todos su mensaje amor y salvacion y se mantiene firme en sus creeencias a pesar del recorrido de los años. En los tiempos de amor libre, apatia, cinismo y despertar. A pesar de los cambios del mundo y la evolucion de el espiritu ella todavia tiene su mismo mensaje, demostrando su amor incondicional, compartiendo su fe, y viviendo su vida con integridad por ella y por todos nosotros.
Algun dia, Dios la llevara nuevamente a su lado y nosotros sufriremos la perdida. Pero aun la tenemos con nosotros. Aun tenemos la oportunidad de decirle cuanto la queremos y cuanto ella significa para nosotros, dejarle saber que ella en algun momento toco nuestras vidas y somos mejores personas por la fe que ella tiene en nosotros y el ejemplo que ella ha sido en nuestras vidas.
Quisiera que todos tuvieran una Mina, que todos se sientan bendecidos con el amor y la comprension que ella nos regala. Si tienes tu propia Mina, llamala y dile lo mucho que ella ha significado y significa para ti, y como ha impactado tu vida y como tu vida es tanto major por ella.
Mañana es cumpleaños de mi Mina y yo voy a celebrar su presencia en mi vida. Que las 1146 millas que estan entre su casa y la mia no sean obstaculo para yo dejarle saber lo mucho que ella significa para mi y cuanto la quiero y aprecio. Voy a celebrar por otro año que ella nos regala donde su amor no conoce tiempo ni distancias, un año mas de su amor incondicional.
Feliz Cumpleaños Minita!!!
Con todo nuestro amor,
China,
Victoria, Damian, Tony y la Flaca