Happy Birthday Nick

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Nicholas, Happy Birthday to you!!

If I had one minute to share with you today, I would tell you that you are loved, more than you imagine.

If I had one hour with you today, I would tell you that I love you, with all of my heart. That the fact that we have not set eyes on each other doesn’t change a thing and that I do understand.

If I had one day with you, I would ask you a thousand questions and I would try to get to know you, know your favorite ice cream flavor, your favorite song, your favorite wii game, so every time I saw them I would think about you Nick.

If I had one week with you I would I would tell you my story and show you how much we have in common, how much alike our stories are and how much I wish I could spare you the pain that you must feel right now.

If I had one month with you, I would hold your hand as you came to understand that we have never stopped loving you or wanting you, that we made mistakes and sometimes life doesn’t allow us to do the things we want but that as soon as we could we came back to be close to you.
If I had a year to share with you I would take you to the places of your own, so that you could see with your own eyes that you have always been loved, that not only do you have a family with brothers and sisters and a dad and a stepmom, you have a grandma and an aunt and uncle who have learnt to love you from afar with the hope that one day they will meet you, once more.
If I had a lifetime to share with you, I would tell you that love is unconditional. I would tell you that the mistakes that our parents have made are their own mistakes and they do not define us. I would tell you that their mistakes were based on their own feelings and emotions and they had NOTHING to do with you. I would make sure that you knew that it was nothing you did or didn’t do, nothing you said or didn’t say, nothing you were or couldn’t be and everything to do with what they did and didn’t do, for you. However, despite their mistakes, despite their ignorance that has hurt you so much, they love you. It is in their effort to show you that love that they erred and that sometimes they don’t understand how much their mistakes hurt others, innocent others.

I don’t have any of those things, but I have hope that one day I will meet you. I have faith that our paths will cross and I will be able to share with you all of the love I have for you and I pray, I pray with all of my heart that one day you will be here, with your family, in love.

Happy Birthday Nick until we meet….