I received an email this week about how the father of one of the victims of the Columbine shooting absolved the NRA from any responsibility for Eric and Dylan’s actions. Instead, he said, that as people we have failed to account for the other needs of our children. He explains that as three part beings, mind, body and soul, our schools may nourish the mind and body but our soul is lacking. He believes that what would have prevented this incident is prayer in school.
Ok, so I do agree that the NRA is not at fault for the shooting of anyone. But I do not agree that prayer by a few would have prevented those two boys from doing what they did that day.
Spirituality, under whatever label you prefer to refer to it by, should be taught at home. Values, morals and spirituality are things that should be taught by parents. (And a village, if you are of the same views as Mrs. Clinton, like I am. )
It is our job to raise whole children. Not just the teachers.
Whole children?
A whole child is a child that not only has food, shelter and clothing but who has been nurtured and appreciated. A whole child is one whose emotional needs have been fulfilled as well as his physical ones. A whole child is a child who has been taught about reciprocity and caring for one another as human beings, one who has respect for life in all levels. A whole child is one who uses his faith daily, not just when the chips are down. A child who understands that a little bit of the divine lies in all of us and therefore knows that in order to gain fortitude to go through life you reach deep inside and then you reach out.
Our parents taught us to work, to stick to the grind, to commit to our success and to be more than they were, for that is the job of our generation. In the growth and evolution of people, corporal punishment and discipline were discarded for indifference towards a child. They were no longer beaten when they were disrespectful, so they were not taught to respect. They were not spanked for lying, so they were not taught integrity. We forgot that because we were taking away the harsher way of teaching our kids, it didn’t mean that we did not still have the job of teaching them and preparing them for tomorrow.
It is my personal opinion that two of the biggest things missing are Faith and Integrity.
Faith in what??? I don't know that is up to you to decide.
Integrity? YES!
Integrity of your word, of your thoughts of your actions. Integrity of being 100% in the moment that you are in and always acting with the best intentions at all moments and taking personal responsibility when you don’t. Integrity in staying true and standing by your word. Remember, once upon a time a man's word was his most valuable asset, nowadays we look at scores, ratings and profiles, as if those things could give us the measure of a man.
The measure of a man is in how he reacts to someone else's pain and someone else's need. It is in the compassion of his actions and the understanding with which he views his brothers and sisters and in the inner strength that he derives from his spirituality and his faith.
We are an unbelievable collective. But we keep missing the lesson.
Progress is not possible by just a few of us. It has to be achieved by all of us if it is to have any type of significance. The weakest link concept. You cannot reach the pinnacle of life knowing that your brother or sister is destitute. It is out of integrity.
You cannot call for prayer, nor call yourself a Christian when you look at your brother and sister and judge them because their actions are different than yours.
We have failed to have compassionate hearts so that those of us having a hard time may reach out to us in their time of need. We have failed in accepting all of us as children of a greater being because even now bad feelings and words flow between us.
I know, many of you will say… “I didn’t say anything” but you heard the words and you listened to them and you accepted them. You condoned that behavior. Your indifference makes you just as guilty.
Way back in our collective history, our grandfathers knew that for something to grow and blossom and prosper you needed to take care of it and nurture it and feed it. It was a constant commitment to life and it involved so much care.
Our family tree grows in size only. Our branches are so dispersed we have forgotten that we are all part of one. Some of our branches have reached so high that we forget that we all come from the very same seed, that we share our roots.
So what have we taught our children thus far?
We have shown them intolerance with their mistakes.
We have not given them room to grow and be whatever they choose to be because of the profitability of their choices.
We shown them that things are more important than the people who are a part of us.
We have demonstrated, time and time again, that indifference protects us from getting too involved, getting our hands too dirty.
We have taught them to take family and friends for granted and to value more jobs, careers and profitability margins.
How do we heal that? How do we correct our ways???
Easily. Put your pride, your ego, your indifference aside and reach inside you, yes INSIDE you for that little part of you that yearns the love of your family, of your friends of your fellow human beings and (are you ready, it is cliché) REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE.
Reach out for that sibling that needs you to listen and just listen. No strings attached.
Reach out to that family member whom you haven’t seen in moons and have lunch with them, no judgments.
Reach out to that person that has wronged you and ask them to forgive you, because that is leading by example.
Reach out for more than your immediately family and get together to celebrate love and one another, no gossip.
In a family of human beings as large as ours there is no need for any of us to do without. Without help, without understanding, without compassion, without unconditional love. In these times when life is evolving faster than we can process, we need to give our children that gift.
The gift of integrity and personal empowerment. And the gift of faith, in themselves, in one another, in the greater collective and in love.
And as John Lennon said, with all of those lessons learned, all you need is love, my friends, all you need is love.
I believe Mr. Scott that what killed your daughter that day in that school cafeteria was not lack of prayer in the schools. It was lack of love and integrity. Lack of love for those boys who were able to do all of their planning for murder without their parents knowing what they were up to. Lack of integrity for the disrespect of the meaning of someone else’s life.
And I am sorry. I had nothing to do with the death of your daughter but I am sorry that this has happened to you. I know that nothing I say can ever bring Rachel back to you, but I am sorry that we live in a society where murder still happens, where we fail to realize that when we kill someone, we kill a little bit if ourselves. Because as many parts of a greater whole, we are all interconnected. All of us.
