"People who follow their joy discover a depth of talent and creativity that inspires us all." — Dr. Robert Holden
Have you ever met someone who loves to go to work? Who no matter what is going on is always reaching expectations, being a true team player and coming up with ideas all the time?
To some people discovering their passion in life was just part of growing up. The traits that would become part of their career emerged as part of their personality and they would find their calling without trouble.
Then there are those of us, whose purpose was not so clear, not so easy to find. And, if you are like me, you have searched in a million occupations and worked in every job and you cannot get that elation that others seem to have.
But let me tell you, once you find it, it is huge, it is like being able to see after being lost in the darkness. It was loud too, like a bone snapping back into place, once that pop was heard, I realized that I had talent and I was creative.
The words flowed from my mind and it was not work, it was like a game. Not to say that writing is always easy, like sex, I have to be in the mood. If I am not in the mood, I just sit there staring at the screen waiting for something to happen. But when the muses are on my side, I can crank a thousand-word paper in an hour (I am also a transcriptionist, I type fast).
And yet, writing is not my bread and butter; not yet. I write for the pleasure of it, it’s almost like an exhibitionist; there are parts of myself that must be revealed through writing. Nothing else will do.
And while writing doesn’t give me money, yet! It does give me the fuel to meet my day creatively and positively. My work, as an interpreter, flies by when I know that I have a paper to complete as soon as I am done with my shift. Don’t misunderstand; I do love my job, helping people, creating bridges of communication, helping in the assimilation.
But writing is a secret pleasure, like a chocolate bite that restores you in the middle of the day.
Can you imagine how much happier the world would be if everyone followed their calling?
What if you tried, just this once, to do that which makes your heart sing? You don’t have to quit your job, you can do it as a hobby, you can take a class, teach a class, join a cause, share a thought. You may not be the next American Idol, but if singing brings you joy, joining the choir will lift your soul and make your day brighter, which will enlightened your life. Isn’t it worth a try? I dare you….
Find your purpose, once you find your path you will hear the pop, feel the flow of your soul and live in joy….
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Puppy Love
My daughter has a boyfriend; No, not my teenage daughter, my seven-year old.
Gabriela has been Justin’s girlfriend way before my Victoria had a boyfriend. A source of tension between the girls; however, it was Gabriela’s relationship that we focused on and gave attention too, because, seriously what does a seven-year old know about relationships?
Often at the dinner table, we sit down and we ask after her boyfriend’s well-being? Has he been on the wall lately (punishment during recess for breaking the rules), does he eat all of his lunch? You know just regular questions you could ask about a seven-year old.
One day, though, Damian (my eight-year old son, a whole year wiser) asked her:
Why do you love this Justin? He was mocking her, to be sure…
But her answer floored her sister and me: Because he makes me laugh….
It was so simple, so true and so very honest. She said that of all the boys in her class, he was funny and he made her laugh.
A few days later, she was playing with her Barbie’s and one of them was arguing heavily with the other and in the end she screamed, I just love Justin, ok! Apparently the argument had been about Justin. Part of me wanted to leave her to her games, the other part wanted to talk to her about this Justin character, so I went into her room to talk about it, what the heck! I hadn’t played Barbie’s in a while.
As I sat there playing Barbie’s with her and trying to tame the unruly hair into a precise French twist, Victoria (17 year-old) walked in and grabbed the other Barbie and proceeded to join our game.
(In my head, I congratulated myself in being able to deliver the lecture to both girls! Yes, my young grasshoppers, mother will impart her wisdom about love)
So it went something like this:
Gabriela, it’s so sweet that you and Justin are dating!
Yea! He is such a funny boy, I really do love him
(BINGO!! Perfect opening…) Sooooo, you love him huh?
Yep, I sure do…
That’s so cute, but you don’t love him, love him right? (If you say it twice, it means something deeper)
Mom, if you love someone, you just love them right?
Well yes, of course dear, but what I mean, this is just a little boy in your classroom; it’s not real love…
(Victoria snorted; Gabriela looked at her sister and frowned) So what is real love mom?
(Victoria snickered; it’s never good when a teenager snickers)
You see, sweetie, real love is a feeling in the bottom of your belly that has a sense of good and warm and it’s fuzzy around the edges. It is a smile that appears on your face when you think of that special someone; it’s all of those feelings of warmth that spread in your heart for that special someone. It’s the desire to shower that person with good deeds, good thoughts, and good feelings.
Well, I feel that about Justin!
Yes, but its puppy love dearest, not love!
Victoria, not trying to be helpful and trying to get back at me for having the same argument with her earlier asked: What is the difference mom?
CRAP!
You see, Victoria, the difference is that puppy love is young and innocent and notoriously short lived.
(Big words, so Gabriela wouldn’t understand)
But you do admit that it is love, right?
(Thinking furiously about what I was getting myself into, or from which angle she was going to get me) Why yes, of course, it is love!
Then, if its love and its genuine, is it not your duty, our duty to respect it and give it room to grow and flourish?
(Losing my cool) OH COME ON!!! She is seven… She doesn’t know anything about love, I am just trying to teach her that you don’t go telling people that you love them, that you don’t go showing boys your feelings and leaving yourself vulnerable so that they hurt you, you don’t leave yourself open.
Does that mean that because she is seven, seventeen, or seventy the emotion is any different? Mom, you are not teaching her about love, you are teaching her about fear, about holding back, about ego.
(A distant part of me was so happy,she had been listening to all of that metaphysical stuff I had taught her over the years.)
And, I was rocked back! She is right, my idea of love is so twisted and distorted, how in the world are my kids healthy and normal? Well maybe not normal, but functional, you know?
Having grown up in a dysfunctional family, my views on life and love were a bit distorted. I had been aware of that all along. I constantly went in search for a new definition of who I was. I took quizzes and learned astrology, palm reading, studied body language and read tarot cards. I was only thirteen. My desire to define was obsessive.
I finally stopped running around in circles when a book told me that what I was, what I had become and what I would be depended only on me, entirely on me.
YCYOR: You create your own reality.
How? Through your thoughts, your ideas, your actions. They define you; they carve you out of the basic material of the universe. Your thoughts, as they swirl in your head, become embedded in your mind, and then in your soul.
Things that have happened in your life before and inevitably repeat themselves over and over are just an expression of your mind chasing its own tail. Have you ever wondered how those abused women stay with their abusers? Yea, thoughts can take themselves in a vicious cycle.
Where did those thoughts come from? Sometimes they come from what you have learned in your short life. They are from your direct experience. Hot stove, little hand, not a good feeling. Fall down, mom sweeps me in her arms: mom will comfort in times of pain. Fall down, mom scolds or berates me: mom is not a source of comfort. Even at a very young age, children can follow that logic.
Others were given to you, on a silver platter by your parents and the adults around you.
Men are not to be trusted. Women belong in the kitchen. Love is treacherous. Life is full of nasty surprises. Children are to be seen and not heard. Go to college or you will not be worth anything. If you don’t have money, you are nothing. The better the car, the neighborhood, the better you are.
You hear this in their conversations with other adults; sometimes they even sit you down and tell you all about this. Trying to teach you about life, they will impart their wisdom and make sure that you understand the lessons that they have encountered in life. You wont stumble over the same rocks they did, you will learn from their heartache and you will know, beforehand, what life is like.
Seems reasonable, doesn’t it? If I pass my experiences to my child, to the children around me, then they will avoid making the same mistakes. They will be enlightened and better off than what
I was, and surely, if I tell them all about the bad stuff I have encountered, well, they will be wiser, right?
How quickly we forget when we were young! Children won’t learn from your experiences. They won’t appreciate your life in another country, in the road, in the farm, in the other side of the universe. They are a result of their current environment and they cannot absorb what life was like for you. Nor is it realistic of you to expect them to, you are a result of your experiences and if you have made a conscious effort to provide your children with a different experience, how do you expect them to understand where you come from and what you lived throug? It doesn’t work. Handed experiences are not profitable, only the earned ones, the ones that leave scars, in mind, heart and soul.
Children are not a mold of clay, you cannot shape them to your liking, you cannot create in them the qualities that you think they will need to succeed or be as you think they should be. The things they will learn are modeled by your intentions and your actions; you overprotect your child, they will learn that there are things to be feared, because they need to be protected.
Same with love, if you have had negative experiences in love, you will pass those experiences to them. Kind of like saying that puppy love, teenage love is not real love.
And so I sat holding on to the Barbie following the origin of that askew view of love and wondering how much of my life had been shaped by this unconscious notion. And I realized that in my life, love had not been given, it had to be earned. It was something of value that had to be traded for, bartered for, and invested on,be worthy of.
Much, much, much later in life, after motherhood changed my life. I learned that giving it away was powerful. When I loved my children, loved them unconditionally, something in me stirred and moved. When I accepted my husband, my friends, my family, unconditionally, I was taken to another dimension of humanity. When a classroom of children come willingly and give me love and revel in the idea that I love them, each and everyone of them; it’s a high, drugs and alcohol could not compare. The idea of giving, the idea of loving someone enough to see them as exactly the way they are and accepting them exactly the way they are, well truly, that is love.
Because, it was all coming together in my head, when you love someone you see them in your mind as they are, EXACTLY as they are and you accept and you give your love, your energy and your acceptance, without asking for anything in return. You don’t see them as perfect, perfection is elusive and makes for feelings of inadequacy, you see them just as they are, all of that they are.
Can a child do that? Can a child love like that?
Yes, children can love like that. Children can love someone who in the eyes of society is imperfect and love them so much, anything else becomes superfluous.
I knew they could, as my dad struggled with alcoholism, I loved him. As my sister battled her depression, I loved her. As my brother hid under layers of past hurt, I saw his light and I loved him. As my husband pushed away, it kept pulling me in and I loved him.
You have done it too! That inexplicable moment, when something quickened in your heart and the most unlikely thing happened, someone who you never thought would be a part of your life becomes your beloved, your best friend. You see inside, they see inside, no one is judging, no one expects anything, no critique, only acceptance and naturally, love happens.
Ok, my mind was reeling from this; this is powerful stuff, from a seven year old? From a seventeen year old?
And the more I separated from that jaded part of me, the more I realized…love happens.
You don’t build it, create it, sculpt it, make it happen, potion it into existence or pray it into manifesting.
Love happens. Unexpectedly, unpredictably and sometimes, entirely without logic.
Yea, yea, I know, it takes work to make a marriage work, but that’s a marriage, a relationship. A relationship is not the same as love, and love is not needed to have a relationship, sadly.
So my girls were right! Love, in any scenario, in any expression of itself is still love.
And suddenly I found myself surrounded, in love, all expressions of love. Romantic love, physical love, filial love, sibling love, friend love, maternal love, long-distance love and yes even teenage and puppy love.
Gabriela has been Justin’s girlfriend way before my Victoria had a boyfriend. A source of tension between the girls; however, it was Gabriela’s relationship that we focused on and gave attention too, because, seriously what does a seven-year old know about relationships?
Often at the dinner table, we sit down and we ask after her boyfriend’s well-being? Has he been on the wall lately (punishment during recess for breaking the rules), does he eat all of his lunch? You know just regular questions you could ask about a seven-year old.
One day, though, Damian (my eight-year old son, a whole year wiser) asked her:
Why do you love this Justin? He was mocking her, to be sure…
But her answer floored her sister and me: Because he makes me laugh….
It was so simple, so true and so very honest. She said that of all the boys in her class, he was funny and he made her laugh.
A few days later, she was playing with her Barbie’s and one of them was arguing heavily with the other and in the end she screamed, I just love Justin, ok! Apparently the argument had been about Justin. Part of me wanted to leave her to her games, the other part wanted to talk to her about this Justin character, so I went into her room to talk about it, what the heck! I hadn’t played Barbie’s in a while.
As I sat there playing Barbie’s with her and trying to tame the unruly hair into a precise French twist, Victoria (17 year-old) walked in and grabbed the other Barbie and proceeded to join our game.
(In my head, I congratulated myself in being able to deliver the lecture to both girls! Yes, my young grasshoppers, mother will impart her wisdom about love)
So it went something like this:
Gabriela, it’s so sweet that you and Justin are dating!
Yea! He is such a funny boy, I really do love him
(BINGO!! Perfect opening…) Sooooo, you love him huh?
Yep, I sure do…
That’s so cute, but you don’t love him, love him right? (If you say it twice, it means something deeper)
Mom, if you love someone, you just love them right?
Well yes, of course dear, but what I mean, this is just a little boy in your classroom; it’s not real love…
(Victoria snorted; Gabriela looked at her sister and frowned) So what is real love mom?
(Victoria snickered; it’s never good when a teenager snickers)
You see, sweetie, real love is a feeling in the bottom of your belly that has a sense of good and warm and it’s fuzzy around the edges. It is a smile that appears on your face when you think of that special someone; it’s all of those feelings of warmth that spread in your heart for that special someone. It’s the desire to shower that person with good deeds, good thoughts, and good feelings.
Well, I feel that about Justin!
Yes, but its puppy love dearest, not love!
Victoria, not trying to be helpful and trying to get back at me for having the same argument with her earlier asked: What is the difference mom?
CRAP!
You see, Victoria, the difference is that puppy love is young and innocent and notoriously short lived.
(Big words, so Gabriela wouldn’t understand)
But you do admit that it is love, right?
(Thinking furiously about what I was getting myself into, or from which angle she was going to get me) Why yes, of course, it is love!
Then, if its love and its genuine, is it not your duty, our duty to respect it and give it room to grow and flourish?
(Losing my cool) OH COME ON!!! She is seven… She doesn’t know anything about love, I am just trying to teach her that you don’t go telling people that you love them, that you don’t go showing boys your feelings and leaving yourself vulnerable so that they hurt you, you don’t leave yourself open.
Does that mean that because she is seven, seventeen, or seventy the emotion is any different? Mom, you are not teaching her about love, you are teaching her about fear, about holding back, about ego.
(A distant part of me was so happy,she had been listening to all of that metaphysical stuff I had taught her over the years.)
And, I was rocked back! She is right, my idea of love is so twisted and distorted, how in the world are my kids healthy and normal? Well maybe not normal, but functional, you know?
Having grown up in a dysfunctional family, my views on life and love were a bit distorted. I had been aware of that all along. I constantly went in search for a new definition of who I was. I took quizzes and learned astrology, palm reading, studied body language and read tarot cards. I was only thirteen. My desire to define was obsessive.
I finally stopped running around in circles when a book told me that what I was, what I had become and what I would be depended only on me, entirely on me.
YCYOR: You create your own reality.
How? Through your thoughts, your ideas, your actions. They define you; they carve you out of the basic material of the universe. Your thoughts, as they swirl in your head, become embedded in your mind, and then in your soul.
Things that have happened in your life before and inevitably repeat themselves over and over are just an expression of your mind chasing its own tail. Have you ever wondered how those abused women stay with their abusers? Yea, thoughts can take themselves in a vicious cycle.
Where did those thoughts come from? Sometimes they come from what you have learned in your short life. They are from your direct experience. Hot stove, little hand, not a good feeling. Fall down, mom sweeps me in her arms: mom will comfort in times of pain. Fall down, mom scolds or berates me: mom is not a source of comfort. Even at a very young age, children can follow that logic.
Others were given to you, on a silver platter by your parents and the adults around you.
Men are not to be trusted. Women belong in the kitchen. Love is treacherous. Life is full of nasty surprises. Children are to be seen and not heard. Go to college or you will not be worth anything. If you don’t have money, you are nothing. The better the car, the neighborhood, the better you are.
You hear this in their conversations with other adults; sometimes they even sit you down and tell you all about this. Trying to teach you about life, they will impart their wisdom and make sure that you understand the lessons that they have encountered in life. You wont stumble over the same rocks they did, you will learn from their heartache and you will know, beforehand, what life is like.
Seems reasonable, doesn’t it? If I pass my experiences to my child, to the children around me, then they will avoid making the same mistakes. They will be enlightened and better off than what
I was, and surely, if I tell them all about the bad stuff I have encountered, well, they will be wiser, right?
How quickly we forget when we were young! Children won’t learn from your experiences. They won’t appreciate your life in another country, in the road, in the farm, in the other side of the universe. They are a result of their current environment and they cannot absorb what life was like for you. Nor is it realistic of you to expect them to, you are a result of your experiences and if you have made a conscious effort to provide your children with a different experience, how do you expect them to understand where you come from and what you lived throug? It doesn’t work. Handed experiences are not profitable, only the earned ones, the ones that leave scars, in mind, heart and soul.
Children are not a mold of clay, you cannot shape them to your liking, you cannot create in them the qualities that you think they will need to succeed or be as you think they should be. The things they will learn are modeled by your intentions and your actions; you overprotect your child, they will learn that there are things to be feared, because they need to be protected.
Same with love, if you have had negative experiences in love, you will pass those experiences to them. Kind of like saying that puppy love, teenage love is not real love.
And so I sat holding on to the Barbie following the origin of that askew view of love and wondering how much of my life had been shaped by this unconscious notion. And I realized that in my life, love had not been given, it had to be earned. It was something of value that had to be traded for, bartered for, and invested on,be worthy of.
Much, much, much later in life, after motherhood changed my life. I learned that giving it away was powerful. When I loved my children, loved them unconditionally, something in me stirred and moved. When I accepted my husband, my friends, my family, unconditionally, I was taken to another dimension of humanity. When a classroom of children come willingly and give me love and revel in the idea that I love them, each and everyone of them; it’s a high, drugs and alcohol could not compare. The idea of giving, the idea of loving someone enough to see them as exactly the way they are and accepting them exactly the way they are, well truly, that is love.
Because, it was all coming together in my head, when you love someone you see them in your mind as they are, EXACTLY as they are and you accept and you give your love, your energy and your acceptance, without asking for anything in return. You don’t see them as perfect, perfection is elusive and makes for feelings of inadequacy, you see them just as they are, all of that they are.
Can a child do that? Can a child love like that?
Yes, children can love like that. Children can love someone who in the eyes of society is imperfect and love them so much, anything else becomes superfluous.
I knew they could, as my dad struggled with alcoholism, I loved him. As my sister battled her depression, I loved her. As my brother hid under layers of past hurt, I saw his light and I loved him. As my husband pushed away, it kept pulling me in and I loved him.
You have done it too! That inexplicable moment, when something quickened in your heart and the most unlikely thing happened, someone who you never thought would be a part of your life becomes your beloved, your best friend. You see inside, they see inside, no one is judging, no one expects anything, no critique, only acceptance and naturally, love happens.
Ok, my mind was reeling from this; this is powerful stuff, from a seven year old? From a seventeen year old?
And the more I separated from that jaded part of me, the more I realized…love happens.
You don’t build it, create it, sculpt it, make it happen, potion it into existence or pray it into manifesting.
Love happens. Unexpectedly, unpredictably and sometimes, entirely without logic.
Yea, yea, I know, it takes work to make a marriage work, but that’s a marriage, a relationship. A relationship is not the same as love, and love is not needed to have a relationship, sadly.
So my girls were right! Love, in any scenario, in any expression of itself is still love.
And suddenly I found myself surrounded, in love, all expressions of love. Romantic love, physical love, filial love, sibling love, friend love, maternal love, long-distance love and yes even teenage and puppy love.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Spring
And so you have come to take her away…
I had expected your arrival but now that you are here,
I cannot say I welcome this day
But it is inevitable, the bud must bloom and spring will arrive
And with its bellowing sunshine, it will change our paths…
No longer does she come to sit at my side; no longer does she tell me the long stories of her day
I watch her smile and know that I may never know what gave her such rush
But all flowers must bloom, spring must arrive as it does every year, I cannot change its ways
And so she leaves; hands full of plans and heart full of joy
And I watch from the window as she begins to walk down her own path
No more midnight talks, no more why is life thus?
I remember her perfect little body curled up next to me
Her little arms wrapped around mine, her love intoxicating,
Her perfect rosebud lips curled into a most angelic smile
Yet, all flowers have their time to bloom and here comes her time to shine
Her days by my hearth are numbered already the allure of life calls her name
No more hugs in the middle of the night to soothe her troubled dreams
No more kisses to fix life’s little scrapes
She comes filled with sunshine, with dreams and hopes
and as she waltzes down the merry path of the life she has divined,
I look at her move away from me, and recognize the woman she will become.
For a time comes to all mothers when we realize we are the epicenter no more
This child who depended on us has grown her own wings and fly she will, even if she falls
Yet in my heart remains, the bounce of her curls on my chest as we cuddled together for the night, the hundredth kiss goodnight and moment I first looked into her eyes, alas it was love at first sight
And so you have come to take her from me, to lead her to her own time
She will walk from my door, needing me no more and soon will fly to new heights
Be gentle with her; remind her always she is loved
For I too was once seduced by your song, I remember your pull in my heart
But this isn’t my trip, my time of spring has long past,
Her spring is dawning and soon comes the moment when she will be gone from my arms
And so she walks towards you
Lord Life you’ve come with your inevitable song, she now follows your enchanting road
And so her wings open wide and she welcomes the spring of her soul
Go dearest child of my heart, I remember what it’s like to fly….
I had expected your arrival but now that you are here,
I cannot say I welcome this day
But it is inevitable, the bud must bloom and spring will arrive
And with its bellowing sunshine, it will change our paths…
No longer does she come to sit at my side; no longer does she tell me the long stories of her day
I watch her smile and know that I may never know what gave her such rush
But all flowers must bloom, spring must arrive as it does every year, I cannot change its ways
And so she leaves; hands full of plans and heart full of joy
And I watch from the window as she begins to walk down her own path
No more midnight talks, no more why is life thus?
I remember her perfect little body curled up next to me
Her little arms wrapped around mine, her love intoxicating,
Her perfect rosebud lips curled into a most angelic smile
Yet, all flowers have their time to bloom and here comes her time to shine
Her days by my hearth are numbered already the allure of life calls her name
No more hugs in the middle of the night to soothe her troubled dreams
No more kisses to fix life’s little scrapes
She comes filled with sunshine, with dreams and hopes
and as she waltzes down the merry path of the life she has divined,
I look at her move away from me, and recognize the woman she will become.
For a time comes to all mothers when we realize we are the epicenter no more
This child who depended on us has grown her own wings and fly she will, even if she falls
Yet in my heart remains, the bounce of her curls on my chest as we cuddled together for the night, the hundredth kiss goodnight and moment I first looked into her eyes, alas it was love at first sight
And so you have come to take her from me, to lead her to her own time
She will walk from my door, needing me no more and soon will fly to new heights
Be gentle with her; remind her always she is loved
For I too was once seduced by your song, I remember your pull in my heart
But this isn’t my trip, my time of spring has long past,
Her spring is dawning and soon comes the moment when she will be gone from my arms
And so she walks towards you
Lord Life you’ve come with your inevitable song, she now follows your enchanting road
And so her wings open wide and she welcomes the spring of her soul
Go dearest child of my heart, I remember what it’s like to fly….
Making a List
I am not a regular list person. I make a list of things that need to get accomplished for the day and before the first hour has passed, I have lost it. Post it notes are not my thing, a task list in my phone just gets ignored, I am not a scheduled person and the thought that I must restrict myself to a piece of paper is unfathomable. Why? The same is accomplished in the day with or without it. And if it doesn’t, there is always tomorrow.
However, there is one list that I do make. I make it once a year and I hold it in my wallet. I don’t remember about it often but when I do, I take it out and I lovingly go through it, as if I had found a picture of someone beloved. And in a sense, I have.
REWIND TWENTY YEARS (Dear Gods, twenty years? Really? )
On a round table in my small kitchen, in a house that is no longer mine, my best friend and I sat with a book that had a recipe for success. We had found out that the book had made its way into both of our paths and although it had not been explored, it remained nearby, waiting for us to discover it.
During one of our lengthy conversations we found out that we both had the book and we both talked about it. Like two children who had discovered the forbidden, we sat around that table and we huddled together trying to unlock the secrets this book was giving us. Everything you could possibly want, all of your hearts desires are within your reach when you apply this knowledge to your life.
Holy Moly! We struck gold!!!
We gathered at the table again and we were ready. Paper? Check! Pencils? Check!
That’s it.
That’s it? Not an eye of Newt? (whatever a newt is!!), frog’s legs? Three wings of a silvered bat?
We were going to reach our heart’s desire and all of our dreams would come true with paper and pencils? I was beginning to grow skeptical.
However, my skepticism was short lived. The instructions continued to be simple and we simply followed them with wonder and excitement.
Step 2: Make a list of the things you want.
Heck that was easy. I want so-and-so to be my boyfriend, I want nice clothes, I want a cool car. The lottery would be nice too. For about ten minutes or so, our minds soared and we daydreamed and giggled about the things we wanted and how awesome life would be when we had what we wanted. The author of the book, Conny Mendez, encouraged our game. She told us to ask of it what we will because there was no question about receiving it. We did not need to be told twice. Off to fantasy land we went!
Step 3: Rewrite the same list, in present tense and using as much detail as your mind can muster.
For example: if you wanted a hot car, your statement would look like this.
My car is AWESOME! It has leather interior and its candy apple red, it is hot and it is sooooo smooth. Every time I get in it, I can see people looking at it with admiration…. Etc, etc, etc; you get my drift.
Step 4: No, no no… there is no step 4.
WHAT? No step 4? Surely you jest.
Nope, I am not Shirley and this is no joke my friend.
So my best friend and I put this paper away in our wallets and forgot about it for a while. Six months later (we had marked the calendar) we sat back around the table and looked at our lists.
Of the ten things we had listed, five of them were accomplished or no longer of interest.
Let me repeat that…
We made a list of ten things. Of those ten things, five or more of them had either come true, or they no longer mattered.
Six months later, the list had to be redone and new things had to be added to the list. In a full year, most of the things in the list had either come true or they were no longer part of our dreams.
How so? The guy I wanted to date turned out to be a jerk and I was glad nothing came through from that.
I had wanted a candy-apple red car and I didn’t have a candy-apple red car, but I did have my mom’s burgundy car that she let me drive to work. It wasn’t super hot and smooth, but it did get me places and at 15, that is all that matters.
So again, we sat down and repeated steps 1-3. We giggled at the possibilities and we dreamt about how it would be and how we would act when the things we wanted came into our life. Same process repeated, six months later, and another year later.
Now, I don’t know if Conny Mendez’s intention was to establish a pattern of a resolutions list but it did take that shape and although we didn’t continue working on our list together, or only once a year. We continued the pattern of designing the future.
FAST FORWARD TO 2010
We have since learnt so much about this list making process. Many people shun it like magic and call it evil and run away from it, afraid of what its power means. And rightly so, it isn’t only in Spiderman that this is true. With great power comes great responsibility.
Do not despair though; I am still going to share the power of the List!
First thing you must know. Your thoughts are powerful.
Have you ever thought about one person, and five seconds later that person called you? Or walked in your door? Or a picture fell into your lap?
Yes, I know coincidence… moving on.
Have you ever worried, and worried and worried that something horrible was going to happen and then much like you had warned everyone around you, it happened, unerringly like you had predicted?
Back to coincidence or your wisdom, could be either one…. Let’s move on.
Have you ever woken up with the thought that it was going to be a wonderful day and that nothing was going to stand in your path and your day went fabulous? Or vice versa, you wake up from a miserable night, you fall off of your bed and you slip in the shower, burn yourself with hot water and cut yourself so many times you look like a sieve and as you get ready to leave, you KNOW, this will be a horrible day.
And guess what? It was. Of course it was, it had no choice. Coincidence again, right?
No, not really.
First, let’s define something. What are your thoughts?
They are not random images in your head; they are not private deliberations that no one else will see.
Thoughts are things.
Things? Yes, things!
How things? Hmmmm, if I was thinking of winning the lottery, I was using some kind of material to build this dream of mine right?
Yess????
Ok, so what was that material? Cloud mist? Fairy dust?
IT IS ENERGY! Not energy like light bulbs and Al Gore energy.
Think energy like when you walk into the ocean and you feel that raw power that envelopes you. Think of the stillness of the forest that seems to vibrate to its own music. Think of the glow that a pregnant woman has long before she begins to show. Think of how you feel as someone with ill intentions approaches you.
How does the power of the ocean communicate itself to you? The stillness of the forest that seems to lower your own blood pressure (vibration)?
Everything has energy, every little bit of everything is made up of energy. Dreams, thoughts, people, cars, pets, broken hearts, aspirations and even nightmares. All of it made of energy.
In quantum physics, it is explained in particles of photon. Everything is made up in these particles; the denser the material, the slower the particles. (yada, yada, yada, look up quantum physics for further debate).
Ok, so what are we up to? Yes, thoughts are things; light particle things.
These light particle things have a level of vibration, a pulse if you’d prefer and it attracts to itself, things that have the same pulse. Imagine a gathering of people; they will group themselves according to their similarities. So it is with energy.
Negative energy: energy from worrying, from fear, from despair, from anger, from hate, from envy, from avarice. It all seeks vibrations, energy that it’s like itself.
For example, if hate is a 2.
You hate morning traffic =2
Your husband hates Brussels sprouts=2
Your father hates the IRS = 2
The KKK hates minorities = 2
You hate war = 2
It doesn’t make a difference what you hate, hate is hate is hate.
Same thing with love. Love, of course, is at the other end of the spectrum. It is not the opposite, for the opposite of love is fear, but they are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Love is a 100
You love ice cream = 100
Your daughter loves to dance = 100
Your husband loves his garden = 100
Your mother loves her charity work = 100
It doesn’t make a difference what you love. Love is love is love.
So, good thoughts give LOTS of vibration. Negative thoughts give little vibration.
In order for something to come to you, you need LOTS of vibration.
Your vibration is to be focused, is to come from a place of intention, and it is to be accepted, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
This is why prayer works. Prayers, meditations, offerings, spells and manifestations. ALL of them have the same thing in common. They are a focus of vibration and a willingness to sit there, open-hearted to receive it.
See, we haven’t discovered anything new. All we are doing is showing you the wizard behind the curtain.
And you know? The biggest challenge with praying for something isn’t that God doesn’t want you to have it, it isn’t that you didn’t use the right kind of vibration, nor that your spell failed.
The KEY ingredient in making this “process” work is absolute certainty, faith and knowing that it will come to pass. Your doubt is your undoing.
If you have accepted that your thoughts are powerful, you have tuned up your thoughts, you vibrate beautifully and yet, your lottery numbers haven’t come up. Don’t blame the magic! The vibration of the lottery numbers cannot come to you, if you still cannot “BELIEVE” that you are a lottery winner.
Before you can bring it into existence, you have to know the feeling, the emotion behind it and then you have to let it go.
Like they teach you in Sunday school: come to church, become one with God (align your energy with positive vibrations, ground yourself, still your thoughts); ask God to act in your behalf (offer your vibration, cast your spell, achieve your God-head) and LET IT GO!
So, as you can see, my list is not a technique that I discovered. It’s not even new. It is no SECRET. It’s your right, your passage, your key, your list, your power, your very own divinity, your nirvana, your bliss. It matters not what you call it, as long as you use it.
So, to recap:
You will need pen and paper
Make your list; include all of your hearts desire. And don’t ask for something you don’t want (what will you do if you get it…. Awkward!!!)
Focus your thoughts, your energy, your light particles, and your vibration on your desires. Include your images, daydream it, live it, feel it. Attach emotion to it!
And then fold your paper up, stick it in your wallet, in your purse, anywhere that it is close to you and from time to time, open it and enjoy it again.
And then let it go. Let it come to you; don’t seek to guide it, to pursue it, to chase after it.
There are more forces at work on this than you could ever imagine.
(I know what you will say, if this works so well, why am I not rich? Look again, I AM)
However, there is one list that I do make. I make it once a year and I hold it in my wallet. I don’t remember about it often but when I do, I take it out and I lovingly go through it, as if I had found a picture of someone beloved. And in a sense, I have.
REWIND TWENTY YEARS (Dear Gods, twenty years? Really? )
On a round table in my small kitchen, in a house that is no longer mine, my best friend and I sat with a book that had a recipe for success. We had found out that the book had made its way into both of our paths and although it had not been explored, it remained nearby, waiting for us to discover it.
During one of our lengthy conversations we found out that we both had the book and we both talked about it. Like two children who had discovered the forbidden, we sat around that table and we huddled together trying to unlock the secrets this book was giving us. Everything you could possibly want, all of your hearts desires are within your reach when you apply this knowledge to your life.
Holy Moly! We struck gold!!!
We gathered at the table again and we were ready. Paper? Check! Pencils? Check!
That’s it.
That’s it? Not an eye of Newt? (whatever a newt is!!), frog’s legs? Three wings of a silvered bat?
We were going to reach our heart’s desire and all of our dreams would come true with paper and pencils? I was beginning to grow skeptical.
However, my skepticism was short lived. The instructions continued to be simple and we simply followed them with wonder and excitement.
Step 2: Make a list of the things you want.
Heck that was easy. I want so-and-so to be my boyfriend, I want nice clothes, I want a cool car. The lottery would be nice too. For about ten minutes or so, our minds soared and we daydreamed and giggled about the things we wanted and how awesome life would be when we had what we wanted. The author of the book, Conny Mendez, encouraged our game. She told us to ask of it what we will because there was no question about receiving it. We did not need to be told twice. Off to fantasy land we went!
Step 3: Rewrite the same list, in present tense and using as much detail as your mind can muster.
For example: if you wanted a hot car, your statement would look like this.
My car is AWESOME! It has leather interior and its candy apple red, it is hot and it is sooooo smooth. Every time I get in it, I can see people looking at it with admiration…. Etc, etc, etc; you get my drift.
Step 4: No, no no… there is no step 4.
WHAT? No step 4? Surely you jest.
Nope, I am not Shirley and this is no joke my friend.
So my best friend and I put this paper away in our wallets and forgot about it for a while. Six months later (we had marked the calendar) we sat back around the table and looked at our lists.
Of the ten things we had listed, five of them were accomplished or no longer of interest.
Let me repeat that…
We made a list of ten things. Of those ten things, five or more of them had either come true, or they no longer mattered.
Six months later, the list had to be redone and new things had to be added to the list. In a full year, most of the things in the list had either come true or they were no longer part of our dreams.
How so? The guy I wanted to date turned out to be a jerk and I was glad nothing came through from that.
I had wanted a candy-apple red car and I didn’t have a candy-apple red car, but I did have my mom’s burgundy car that she let me drive to work. It wasn’t super hot and smooth, but it did get me places and at 15, that is all that matters.
So again, we sat down and repeated steps 1-3. We giggled at the possibilities and we dreamt about how it would be and how we would act when the things we wanted came into our life. Same process repeated, six months later, and another year later.
Now, I don’t know if Conny Mendez’s intention was to establish a pattern of a resolutions list but it did take that shape and although we didn’t continue working on our list together, or only once a year. We continued the pattern of designing the future.
FAST FORWARD TO 2010
We have since learnt so much about this list making process. Many people shun it like magic and call it evil and run away from it, afraid of what its power means. And rightly so, it isn’t only in Spiderman that this is true. With great power comes great responsibility.
Do not despair though; I am still going to share the power of the List!
First thing you must know. Your thoughts are powerful.
Have you ever thought about one person, and five seconds later that person called you? Or walked in your door? Or a picture fell into your lap?
Yes, I know coincidence… moving on.
Have you ever worried, and worried and worried that something horrible was going to happen and then much like you had warned everyone around you, it happened, unerringly like you had predicted?
Back to coincidence or your wisdom, could be either one…. Let’s move on.
Have you ever woken up with the thought that it was going to be a wonderful day and that nothing was going to stand in your path and your day went fabulous? Or vice versa, you wake up from a miserable night, you fall off of your bed and you slip in the shower, burn yourself with hot water and cut yourself so many times you look like a sieve and as you get ready to leave, you KNOW, this will be a horrible day.
And guess what? It was. Of course it was, it had no choice. Coincidence again, right?
No, not really.
First, let’s define something. What are your thoughts?
They are not random images in your head; they are not private deliberations that no one else will see.
Thoughts are things.
Things? Yes, things!
How things? Hmmmm, if I was thinking of winning the lottery, I was using some kind of material to build this dream of mine right?
Yess????
Ok, so what was that material? Cloud mist? Fairy dust?
IT IS ENERGY! Not energy like light bulbs and Al Gore energy.
Think energy like when you walk into the ocean and you feel that raw power that envelopes you. Think of the stillness of the forest that seems to vibrate to its own music. Think of the glow that a pregnant woman has long before she begins to show. Think of how you feel as someone with ill intentions approaches you.
How does the power of the ocean communicate itself to you? The stillness of the forest that seems to lower your own blood pressure (vibration)?
Everything has energy, every little bit of everything is made up of energy. Dreams, thoughts, people, cars, pets, broken hearts, aspirations and even nightmares. All of it made of energy.
In quantum physics, it is explained in particles of photon. Everything is made up in these particles; the denser the material, the slower the particles. (yada, yada, yada, look up quantum physics for further debate).
Ok, so what are we up to? Yes, thoughts are things; light particle things.
These light particle things have a level of vibration, a pulse if you’d prefer and it attracts to itself, things that have the same pulse. Imagine a gathering of people; they will group themselves according to their similarities. So it is with energy.
Negative energy: energy from worrying, from fear, from despair, from anger, from hate, from envy, from avarice. It all seeks vibrations, energy that it’s like itself.
For example, if hate is a 2.
You hate morning traffic =2
Your husband hates Brussels sprouts=2
Your father hates the IRS = 2
The KKK hates minorities = 2
You hate war = 2
It doesn’t make a difference what you hate, hate is hate is hate.
Same thing with love. Love, of course, is at the other end of the spectrum. It is not the opposite, for the opposite of love is fear, but they are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Love is a 100
You love ice cream = 100
Your daughter loves to dance = 100
Your husband loves his garden = 100
Your mother loves her charity work = 100
It doesn’t make a difference what you love. Love is love is love.
So, good thoughts give LOTS of vibration. Negative thoughts give little vibration.
In order for something to come to you, you need LOTS of vibration.
Your vibration is to be focused, is to come from a place of intention, and it is to be accepted, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
This is why prayer works. Prayers, meditations, offerings, spells and manifestations. ALL of them have the same thing in common. They are a focus of vibration and a willingness to sit there, open-hearted to receive it.
See, we haven’t discovered anything new. All we are doing is showing you the wizard behind the curtain.
And you know? The biggest challenge with praying for something isn’t that God doesn’t want you to have it, it isn’t that you didn’t use the right kind of vibration, nor that your spell failed.
The KEY ingredient in making this “process” work is absolute certainty, faith and knowing that it will come to pass. Your doubt is your undoing.
If you have accepted that your thoughts are powerful, you have tuned up your thoughts, you vibrate beautifully and yet, your lottery numbers haven’t come up. Don’t blame the magic! The vibration of the lottery numbers cannot come to you, if you still cannot “BELIEVE” that you are a lottery winner.
Before you can bring it into existence, you have to know the feeling, the emotion behind it and then you have to let it go.
Like they teach you in Sunday school: come to church, become one with God (align your energy with positive vibrations, ground yourself, still your thoughts); ask God to act in your behalf (offer your vibration, cast your spell, achieve your God-head) and LET IT GO!
So, as you can see, my list is not a technique that I discovered. It’s not even new. It is no SECRET. It’s your right, your passage, your key, your list, your power, your very own divinity, your nirvana, your bliss. It matters not what you call it, as long as you use it.
So, to recap:
You will need pen and paper
Make your list; include all of your hearts desire. And don’t ask for something you don’t want (what will you do if you get it…. Awkward!!!)
Focus your thoughts, your energy, your light particles, and your vibration on your desires. Include your images, daydream it, live it, feel it. Attach emotion to it!
And then fold your paper up, stick it in your wallet, in your purse, anywhere that it is close to you and from time to time, open it and enjoy it again.
And then let it go. Let it come to you; don’t seek to guide it, to pursue it, to chase after it.
There are more forces at work on this than you could ever imagine.
(I know what you will say, if this works so well, why am I not rich? Look again, I AM)
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